14 Things That Will Make People Like You (Heck, Even Love You)

Larry Kim
Larry Kim
Sep 26, 2016 · 7 min read
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1. Use a Person’s Name

Let’s face it — we’re all huge narcissists and we all love the sound of our own name. Learn names and make use of them. Always use an individual’s name in a conversation. A classic from Dale Carnegie’s famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People, this tried-and-true technique is sure to increaseyour fan base.

2. Smile — With Feeling!

Although we live in a digital age that increasingly substitutes technology for human interaction, we are still at our cores very social creatures. As humans, we use social interaction as a tool for feedback, and we make a lot of conscious and subconscious choices based on how others engage with and respond to us.

3. Listen (Not Just With Your Ears)

It’s probably a no-brainer that people will like you more if you listen to them.This starts with ignoring your Twitter feed while out to dinner with friends, but goes a lot further than that. You can show you’re listening to someone through body language (positioning your body to face someone and mirroring his or her stance), eye contact (giving plenty of it), and verbal confirmation(we’ll talk more about this next).

4. Use Verbal Confirmation

Most psychology books refer to this technique as “active listening.” Active listening revolves around demonstrating your listening skills by repeating segments of what an individual has said to you. For example:

  • You: You got to try a lot of different beer, huh?
  • Mark: Yes, it was really fun. My favorite was the Pretty Things Magnifico.
  • You: The Magnifico was your favorite?
  • Mark: Yeah, it tasted great.

5. Conversation Recall: Prove You’re Paying Attention.

We’ve already discussed how important it is to show people that you’re listening to them. Snoring during a speech or getting a glazed look in your eyes doesn’t result in fast friends.

6. Sincere Compliments and Plentiful Praise

As noted again by the famous self-improvement expert Dale Carnegie,individuals crave authentic appreciation. This is very different from emptyflattery, which most people are adept at detecting. No one likes a brown-nose, and most people don’t particularly love being pandered to. What people really want is sincere appreciation — to be recognized and appreciated for theirefforts.

7. Handle Criticism With Tact

In the same vein, while you want to be generous with your praise, be stingywith your criticism. People have delicate egos, and even a slight word of condemnation can wound someone’s pride. Of course correction will be necessary at times, but it should always have a purpose and be handled with care. If someone makes an error, don’t call that person out in front of a group. Be discreet, be delicate. Consider offering up a compliment sandwich — a deliciously effective strategy that involves dishing out praise before and after a criticism. For example:

8. Avoid Issuing Orders — Ask Questions Instead

No one enjoys being bossed around. So what do you do when you need something done? The truth is that you can get the same result from asking a question as you can by giving an order. The outcome may be the same, but the individual’s feeling and attitude can vary greatly depending on your approach.

9. Be a Real Person, Not a Robot.

People like to see character and authenticity. While classic business doctrine pushes the importance of an alpha male stance (shoulder back, chin up, strong handshake), it’s easy to go overboard and come off as fake.

10. Become an Expert in Storytelling

People love a good story, and great stories require sophisticated storytellers.Storytelling is an art form that requires understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you’re The Bard.

11. Physical touch.

This one’s a bit tricky, and I hesitate to even mention it because obviously it needs to be done in a certain manner. This isn’t an invite to give shoulder rubs to your coworkers. However, it has been shown that very subtle physical touch makes individuals feel more connected to you. A great example is gently touching someone’s forearm (with your left hand) while shaking hands (with your right hand) — it’s a great way to finish up a conversation. Not everyone will feel comfortable with this strategy, and if it’s not for you, that’s fine.

12. Ask for advice.

Asking someone for advice is, somewhat surprisingly, a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other individual’s opinion and demonstrates respect. Everyone likes to feel needed and important. When you make someone feel better about himself or herself, that person will most certainly end up liking you for it.

13. Avoid the clichés.

Let’s face it — most of us don’t like boring people. They are snores and horrifically uninteresting. Instead, we like the unusual, the unique, sometimes even the bizarre.

14. Ask questions.

Asking other people questions — about their lives, their interests, their passions — is a surefire way to get brownie points in their friendship books.People are egocentric — they love to talk about themselves. If you’re asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves, they’ll leave the conversation thinking you’re the coolest. Even if the conversation didn’t really give the other person a reason to like you, he or she will think better of you subconsciously just for indulging this or her ego.

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Larry Kim

Written by

Larry Kim

CEO of MobileMonkey. Founder of WordStream. Top columnist @Inc ❤️ AdWords, Facebook Advertising, Marketing, Entrepreneurship, Start-ups & Venture Capital 🦄

Marketing and Entrepreneurship

Tips & News on Social Media Marketing, Online Advertising, Search Engine Optimization, Content Marketing, Growth Hacking, Branding, Start-Ups and more.

Larry Kim

Written by

Larry Kim

CEO of MobileMonkey. Founder of WordStream. Top columnist @Inc ❤️ AdWords, Facebook Advertising, Marketing, Entrepreneurship, Start-ups & Venture Capital 🦄

Marketing and Entrepreneurship

Tips & News on Social Media Marketing, Online Advertising, Search Engine Optimization, Content Marketing, Growth Hacking, Branding, Start-Ups and more.

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