He Made Me Fly With The Birds
Orgasms: waterfalls, flowers, candy… call it magic!
It’s a big word, orgasm. It still feels weird to talk about it or even just to pronounce it sometimes. Orgasm.
O-R-G-A-S-M. What is it about? How do you know when you’re having one? How can you describe it? How does it feel?
I have been asking many women about their orgasms, and I’ve had all sorts of answers. Some of them still don’t understand what it’s supposed to be, some can’t talk about it, and some believe they have never had one.
For the men, it’s a nice short story. Pretty automatic and visible. As for us, it’s a mystery that happens behind the curtains. A myth. A surprise. A goal, perhaps? You name it.
I’ve always wondered how it would be for me. I won’t lie; I’ve spent my good amount of hours on google doing my research too. Like a lot of women. But there’s a big difference between learning, reading about it, and experiencing it yourself.
As I wrote in my previous article “How Important Is Sex To You In A Relationship,” I talk about how I’ve been on this adventuring period of my life for the past 3 years, in which I’ve decided to experiment and learn a bit more about my body and myself. Having sexual experiences with a few different men, just for the sake of exploring.
Sometimes I did enjoy it, and sometimes I didn’t. No experience has been alike, which left me curious and thirsty for more. Despite the fun, because it has been a lot of fun, I have never had a real orgasm with any of those men.
Don’t get me wrong, there has always been a lot of pleasure, and most of them have managed to satisfy me, somehow. And since I wasn’t looking for a relationship, there was no pressure, only pleasure for the time we would spend together.
I recently read a study saying how it’s hard for the magical female orgasm to happen during casual sex. I totally disagreed with it at first, since I consider myself the master of my own pleasure. I love the sound of this sentence because the truth is: I can have an orgasm whenever and wherever I want.
Airplane bathroom, riding a bicycle, while reading or watching something. It’s always a lot, a lot of fun.
But what I’m talking about is another kind of orgasm. Oh, by the way, I didn’t know they could be so different. The amazing orgasms I give myself whenever I feel like and what I can receive from a man. The right man. Mmmmh!
Things have changed in these past two months, and, I now find myself in a very happy relationship with an incredible man. I’m no longer exploring my sexuality with all sorts of men, but I have one who knows, understands, listens, and cares. And let me tell you, it makes all the difference.
I’m 26, and I have been having the first real orgasms of my life lately.
Since my very first orgasm, I’ve been thinking about writing this article, how it could help other women like myself going through the same questions. There are so many good writers on Medium who talk about this topic, giving tips about how to reach an orgasm, what you should or shouldn’t do, and much more. I’m not one of those since I’ve just started to experience it now. But I do have some things to say, from my personal perspective and from what I’ve learned so far.
I’ve discovered that a lot of the things I thought were necessary to reach the goal weren’t necessary at all. Size, body shape, atmosphere, location, positions, etc. All the things I’ve been reading about.
The most important thing is one: connection.
Two bodies can have great sex without connection. But you need a connection to have great orgasms with a man. Believe it or not, your mind plays the bigger part in all of it.
Sex will entertain your body needs, but an orgasm has the power to satisfy your thoughts, your soul, your most secret places. It can make you see and feel things that aren’t there; it helps your imagination travel to places you wouldn’t go on your own.
It sounds surreal, but in my first real orgasm, I flew with the birds. I could feel the wind on my skin, and my body was weightless. I could feel incredible sensations, and I could picture in my mind this blue sky, the birds flying around me. Flowers were falling from the clouds, and I was completely free and in ecstasy.
And there were intervals, in which I would let my body fall with the movement, with the speed of his movements. I would close my eyes and feel lost and hopeless for a few seconds; then I would fly in circles, back to the clouds and the flowers and the birds.
I remember spending almost 20 minutes to recover from it. I’m better at drawing my own orgasms than writing about it, I guess. That’s another thing I’ve started doing since all of them have been so different.
A few months ago, I found an episode called “The Female Orgasm” of Explained, a series on Netflix where they talk about a lot of topics, orgasm included. Then, I realized how many women experience the same sensations and imaginary worlds that I do. It was beautiful, but it left me with that bittersweet kind of taste.
What about those women who don’t experience that? What about those who have never felt like I do? I was no different just a few months ago.
Sometimes, nope that’s a lie; most of the time, I find myself wondering, daydreaming alone about all sorts of things. This time, in my imagination, there was me sitting in a circle, talking, and painting wonderful orgasms with wonderful women.
I don’t regret the time I have spent with most of the people I have been with; what I do regret, is the time spent not having orgasms.
The only way to build a connection with a man is through a relationship. I don’t believe it to be true. That’s one way, my way right now. You can build that connection with a Tinder date, in a-friends-with-benefits story, or with a partner. What really matters is to be connected, to be 100% there with the other person. I’m talking about a mental/physical connection. Your soul is exposed. You both are in a very vulnerable place, and you want to be there. Right there, where you are now. Nothing else matters.
It’s something so raw, so pure, and so hard to describe. I wish it for every woman in this big world. Every woman deserves to feel it. And for the men reading these words, be 100% there. Be in the moment, like there was no tomorrow. Connect with the woman you have in your arms. Feel grateful for having her, even if it is only for one night. Make her fly with the birds too.
