Why is divorce difficult?

Divorce is difficult because as human beings we usually have a hard time accepting the truth about ourselves and our relationships.

It can be difficult to make the decision to end a marriage, and it can be difficult to go through the process. There are often emotional challenges, financial challenges, and logistical challenges.

Friends and family can be supportive, but you may have to make difficult decisions ON YOUR OWN.

And when the divorce is finalised and you are no longer legally married, it can feel as if you are now alone. That sense of loneliness — can be haunting and painful.

There are many things you can do to help yourself through the process and come out of it as a stronger, more confident person.

Here is how to deal with divorce and move on to a BETTER YOU.

1. Don’t ignore your emotions. It is extremely common for people to stay “stuck” in the relationship after their divorce, especially if they have children together. They go into a form of denial as if to say the divorce never happened. This is not healthy because you are actually still in a relationship with your ex-spouse and there will be times when you will have to deal with them.
2. Re-evaluate your life. Do not say “I am a loser” or even “I am not worthy of anyone”. You are not worthless, you just lost, might be for good! You have to believe that there is happiness beyond the pain of a divorce. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.
3. Don’t use your children as an excuse not to move on. The divorce is still going to happen even if you keep grieving over it and prolonging it for years. Don’t let your ex-spouse use the children as a pawn to keep you stuck in an unhappy relationship. You are better off letting the divorce happen and getting on with your life.
4. Adapt and adjust to your new life as a single parent. You need to become the Mom or Dad that you never were before the divorce.
5. Don’t be desperate. Don’t look for a new boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to replace the one you just got rid of.
6. Don’t get too comfortable. After you have dealt with your emotions and moved on, don’t make the mistake of getting too comfortable. Don’t go back to your old lifestyle. Rebuild yourself in a new way.
7. Keep your mind on what you want and not let it wander into a new relationship. If you have children it may take longer for you to “forgive” the ex-spouse but DON’T hold on to grudges. Let go of the anger of the past. It is time to move on to a better you.