The Anti Trans voices are Creepy AF

Just a note, this article has some relatively graphic discussions on sex and uses some wording that may not be comfortable. Also, before you comment or think it, the only sexual activity which is ethical and not subject to legal limits is sexual activity between consenting adults. Do not play the stupid game that what I am saying extends to pedophiles. It doesn’t and I am not saying that in any form, because kids cannot consent to sexual anything, they are kids.

A few years ago, I listened to some trans-hypno porn and it changed me. It turned me into a trap. (Am I good looking enough to call myself a trap? I dunno). Anyways, trans-hypno porn, hrt, legal gender change and Boom I am writing on medium. Which means, I am reading on medium. Which is a very roundabout way of saying I am literate and trans.

This may come as a surprise, but literacy is relatively common amongst the gender diverse these days.

So I have perused the offerings by such lauded anti trans voices like Jordan “sounds like Kermit took the red pill” Peterson, Graham “I am totally not obsessed or deranged” Linehan, Allison “that got creepy fast” Bailey and Abigail “everything I wrote is based on debunked junk science” Shrier.

There are many more in this creeptastic fold, but I am listing the lowlights here.

Something has stood out for me, something creepy about this genre of creep. There seems to be an undue obsession these people have with two aspects of trans people, specifically trans people who come out as kids and transition before they have hit prime child production age and even more creepily, prime sex having age (I am looking at you Miss Bailey). So I thought I would look down my nose a little at this motley crew of assholes and respond to the Creeptastic People who have an obsession with our genitals and what goes on down there.

Look, I am an adult human female and I have engaged in some adult fun times. Okay, maybe lots of adult fun times. Don’t worry, it’s all been consensual stuff with other adults, mostly femoids. I am half of a child production unit and it’s gone well, to the point where the child seems to be alive and healthy in both physical and emotional aspects. So I think that I have an informed contribution to make here.

Let’s first address the idea that transition harms reproductive opportunities. Well, to a degree it does inhibit one’s reproductive options. There is no denying it, cross sex hormones and testosterone suppression do impact fertility dramatically. Consequently, this is also why the diagnostic and informed consent models require the trans person to be informed about the impacts of HRT on fertility and the appropriate steps taken to mitigate this. The NHS and most universal healthcare systems offer trans people the opportunity to freeze eggs and sperm. This is not the case in the USA, but medicine is a “For Profit Business” there and so I think they have bigger problems, like medical bankruptcies.

What strikes me as hypocritical about this argument is that if these people are so concerned about trans fertility, why are they silent about compelled sterilization of trans people?

Yes, it’s still happening.

This is an abbreviated list of countries that require proof of sterilization before legal recognition of gender may be granted as of 2020

Finland

Latvia

Czech Republic

Slovakia

Romania

Bosnia Herzegovina

Montenegro

Serbia

Kosovo

Turkey

Georgia

Kazakhstan

Cyprus

Japan

Bulgaria

This is a partial list of when EU states dropped sterilization as a requirement for legal gender recognition. (Its little wonder everyone thinks pregnancy is solely the purview of women, they sterilized all the trans men)

Holland : 2014

Sweden : 2013

Denmark : 2014

France : 2016

Austria : 2009

Germany : 2011

Norway : 2014

Further to that, are we to ban all therapies that have a negative impact on fertility? Is chemo off the table? What about steroids? Antibiotics? What about recreational activities and exposures that cause infertility? Are these fine people calling for the ban of Marijuana? Cigarettes? Alcohol? Saunas? Hot Tubs?

Every one of us, cis or trans runs the risk of infertility based on medical and environmental factors everyday. We cannot prevent or even mitigate all risks for anyone, nevermind everyone. One of the costs we as trans people bear is that we may have more difficult routes to reproduction than the cis population, mitigation is available. One of the costs Abigail Shrier bears for being Abigail Shrier is being a lying moron, no mitigation is available for her unfortunately. And until the “but it makes you sterile” crowd has started protesting governments that force sterility on trans people, I don’t think one could view their comments on the matter as genuine concern.

Of course that aside, maybe we need to start thinking about the currently living as opposed to the proposed living. Trans people are here and now, the children they may have are hypothetical entities. Is it worth negatively impacting a living breathing person’s life today based on the possibility they may want children someday in the indeterminate future? I don’t think so. The regret rates and detransition rates for people seeking medical transition are extremely low (lower than the regret rates for having children it turns out). When viewed alongside the fact that we know transition is an effective and lasting treatment for transgender people, one must conclude that transition with fertility preservation is the medically astute option.

Now that we have moved past the technical and ethical considerations of reproduction, we can climb the peaks of Mount Creep!

Let’s first address one total bullshit claim these people make. HRT does impact a lot of stuff and it changes a f£$kton of sex stuff for you but you can still orgasm just fine.

Bailey and Shrier have both said things that amount to trans men not having experienced sex and intimate contact before they medically transition. Allison Bayley specifically said “girls having breasts removed that have never known a lover’s caress”. If a middle aged man looked at a 16 year old girl and raised objections to her having a mastectomy because of a lack of intimate contact. We would rightly regard this person as a creepy motherf$£ker to be wary of. Abigail Shrier goes into more cringe-tastic territory (well they are both ultra gross, Shrier just does more of it). She expresses concerns about trans kids not having experienced post puberty sexual contact before they go onto blockers and maybe later cross sex hormones. Once again, replace the image of Abigail Shrier with a middle aged man and see how icky these objections to trans care suddenly feel.

And I am not even going into Shrier’s bit about the prepubescent vaginal size and pubic hair of trans men on blockers. Because I have standards and a gag reflex that prohibits me from delving into that.

Yes, trans healthcare has impacts on the individual’s sexuality and sexual function. Positive effects. The following is “overshare” and I sincerely apologize if the way I say it is brute and crass, but I ask you to humor me. I am trans femme and nothing on this planet made me feel more dysphoria than when I did the most manly thing I could do, had sex. The closest description I can give you how I felt about sex before hrt was that I felt like a badly dressed and poorly mannered man eating with their hands at a civilized romantic dinner for two. I felt out of place and brute. I didn’t like my body before HRT, but during sex I hated my body more than I can tell you. Inside and out (when a trans person says I felt like I was trapped inside the wrong body, just remember a prison is a prison inside and outside). During sex, there was no way for me to see myself as anything except a man. I feel very differently now than I did then. I love sex now. I love the way I feel during sex, I love the way I make my partner feel during sex.

I am not a trans man but I know a few and all of them have indicated their breasts cause them significant dysphoria. with this insight I can imagine that trans men must have very mixed and probably unpleasant feelings about sex before they transition. Maybe I lack imagination but I don’t see someone being able to have sex with a binder on without dying. Let’s call a spade a spade, sex for trans people before they transition isn’t as awesome as it is for cis people. Maybe a few of us don’t experience dysphoria during sex, but it’s still extremely common. That changes when we transition. I don’t know a trans person who doesn’t like sex a lot more after transition than they did before.

But you don’t need to know it’s crap for us. You don’t need to know who has or hasn’t fondled whose breasts or cock. You need to know nothing about the sex life of someone else beyond that it’s consensual. You don’t get to dictate how others experience pleasure with their bodies within the bounds of ethical intimacy. The people who start telling trans people what they are missing out on and that the state should legally step in to tell us how we should experience sex and sexuality before we access treatment need to be examined carefully.

We should also not forget, it’s this group that is also saying that trans women are pressuring lesbians into having sex with trans women. They feel it’s a problem when someone points out that genital preference is a little aromantic and excluding all trans people because you have a genital preference is just bigotry. Not all trans people have mismatched genitals. Some trans men have penises and vice versa. Sure, if you don’t like women with penises and you don’t want to be intimately involved with specific individuals on that basis, that’s not transphobic, that’s just having a type. It’s when you say “no trans people because I don’t like their genitals” it’s a bit like saying “I don’t like dating black men because they have big penises” (fuck I feel gross writing that, sorry guys, this is an icky subject). For one, you don’t have a penis size preference, you are a racist. Secondly, if you view someone as dateable based on genitals, that’s a little too cold for me thanks. You have the right to, but I would prefer it if you stayed well clear of me, I am not meat.

I feel the only people who get to discuss and individuals sexual function is the individual, their doctors and who the individual specifically invited to that discussion. When evangelical Christians start crowing about the dangers of anal sex between consenting gay men, we see that as crude and uninvited. We rightly see that as a group of people, who have no right to, imposing their (very unhealthy) ideas about sex onto others. We don’t tolerate it when the evangelical right does it and we shouldn’t when either when it’s a lesbian or a right wing commentator or a washed up comedy writer (I don’t know if said washed up comedy writer has said anything about that, so don’t take my word for it that he has).

Unless you are in an intimate relationship with someone or their doctor, you have zero right to be involved in their reproductive and sexual lives. And if you insist on inserting yourself where you don’t belong, you have some issues with boundaries and you’re a fucking creep.

In short, for Allison Bailey’s benefit, those breasts don’t want caressing and they would prefer it if you butted the f££k out because you weren't invited to this f££kfest.

It’s condescending and authoritarian for Allison Bailey and her ilk to be telling trans people what they should and shouldn’t be considering reproductively and sexually in relation to transition. On which planet is it acceptable for anyone except the individual’s doctor to be concerned with their reproductive capacity? On which planet are we allowing people to dictate to people they don’t even personally know what they do or don’t want to have? Never mind reproduction? Not even your parents get a say in how many, if any, kids you have. The idea that society needs to regulate trans care to ensure the reproductive capacity and sexual pleasure of trans people says more about the minds of the people saying it than the people being told it. It says that these people are fine dictating to you and me what they think we must be and that dear reader extends way beyond sexuality and gender. It ends at your religion, your right to own property, your right to a decent wage, your right to healthcare, your right to be you.

I hope you never have to worry about someone legislating your sexuality and healthcare access like trans people have to worry. I hope that you never live in a place where public commentary about your reproductive capacity is commonplace. I hope you never have to contend with a state that requires you to be sterilized so you can be yourself.

Oh right, the republicans did that in the USA and they are trying in the UK too.