The united states of Hate
Like most people I know, I think I can multitask.
I can’t, and neither can anyone else, but it’s a nice fantasy.
One of the ways I entertain this multitasking fantasy is by listening to Podcasts whilst working.
Yes, this probably means that for at least half the time I am a second rate employee and the other half of the time I am not paying attention to the pod.
But that’s all beside the point.
What’s not beside the point is that today I listened to a Podcast called “In the den with Mama Dragons”.
Find it here: https://inthedenwithmamadragons.buzzsprout.com/2082774
The hosts of the pod are a group of parents of LGBTQIA kids living in conservative America. It’s an excellent resource for parents of newly out kids and adult queer kids.
If your kid just came out and you’re struggling, if your kid is queer and you don’t get it, this is the podcast for you.
The pod is awesome, I really like the people hosting it and their guests. This is however not an article singing the praises of a few Queer positive islands in the ocean of hate that is the USA.
Nor is it an article that in any way seeks to impugn the “Mama Dragons” at all. They are just awesome.
It is a commentary on the United States of Hate.
This week’s episode is about trans kids and the experiences of parents. It relates to how they came to understand their kids are trans. How they have navigated society and how they have dealt with the myriad of concerns relating to having a trans kid.
Again, it’s an excellent show by excellent people, there is however a “but”.
That “but” is that they all live in the US of A, land of the free…
The first red flag popped up when the host explained that the parents and kids would all be using false names, not referencing home states or any identifiable information.
This is because they all feel it is unsafe to be transgender or to be an affirmative parent in the United States of America, in 2024.
I’ll repeat that, in the United States of America, land of the Free and the Brave, it’s not safe to be transgender or to be a supportive parent.
In fact it is so dangerous, people are hiding their names, home towns and any identifiable information.
In 2024.
The second red flag was that the guest parents of the trans minors had all started the legal process for gender recognition. Not because it’s especially important to tweens, but because they were unsure if laws would be passed that mandated teachers and schools use legal names only. They were also concerned that whilst the legal framework is present in their states currently. There is no guarantee the legal opportunity to change their kids’ gender will be available once all the hate bills have been through their state legislatures.
These people are terrified the states they live in will make it a legal requirement for teachers and schools to deadname and out their kids. They live in legal and emotional limbo as to the state of their children’s legal identities.
In the USA, in 2024.
The third red flag that popped up is a biggie.
Whilst all the referenced kids came out before or around kindergarten and they were all worried about how fellow parents would react when their kids socially transitioned. I got the idea they were concerned someone would report them for some kind of abuse. Whilst this was not overly stated, it was at minimum implied by some of the language. Worse yet, one of the families had moved to another state. Not only was it legally unsafe in their home state for trans minors, but they would not be able to access age appropriate medical care for their kids. The mother had retained the job she had before the move and was afraid to be honest with her colleagues as to why they moved to a whole other state. She is worried her colleagues may “narc” on her for being an affirming parent and allowing her child to access life saving care.
The united states of america is held up as a stronghold of liberty, freedom and justice for all.
Yet here we have people afraid of being denounced, intimidated and legally marginalised by the states they live in.
If you look closely, I have not capitalised the united states of america from the above paragraph onwards. This is due to the fact that the united states is no longer worthy of that respect.
The united states is a banana republic. A place where only evangelical christians, guns and far right conservatives have a place in the sun. Its a country in which a cult of personality surrounds an ex-president who attempted to stage a coup and is running for re-election. In the next election the american people will get to choose between a weak fool who has presided over the explosion of hate legislation or a vain incontinent wannabe dictator. Its against this backdrop that far right legislatures and politicians fall over each other in the rush to focus more hate on the LGBTQIA community.
It used to be in Mao’s China and Chavez’ Venezuela that people feared being denounced by neighbours and victimised by ruthless legislatures hellbent on power. Today its the nation that was progressive enough to send mankind to the moon and enshrine life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in their constitution where people fear these things.
This ain’t Uganda I am speaking about, its america, a place where freedom means gun ownership but nothing else, not even your own sexuality or gender.
