Toxicology: Everyone is trying to pass and no one is.

Yip, that’s it alright.

For a while now I have followed a trans Youtuber/Instagrammer called Brandy Nitti. She made cutesy content about trans stuff.

I see her content rather infrequently because I have developed a bit of an allergy to social media.

My doom scrolling days are kind of behind me and I very rarely use social media anymore.

So when I was on social media and Brandy’s latest short popped up, I clicked on it. Only to be confronted with very toxic commentary.

She better avoid phthalates.

I found her pivot from once happy affirmative content too the type of toxicity Blaire White is known for to be quite jarring. She has a lot of mean spirited stuff to say about trans people she doesn’t think “pass” well enough and is on a “T£$€&=es for Trump” tip.

That said, an affection for Donald Trump and knocking down other trans women are not the only similarities Brandy Nitti shares with Blaire White. Brandy and Blaire seem to both be seeing who can turn themselves into Kim Kardashian clones first.

My opinion on plastic surgery is that it should be as natural as possible with as little artificial enhancement as possible, merely accentuating your naturally occurring features is great.

But..

Taken to far and you end up looking like the Bogdanoff brothers

The only things more fake than their faces are their PhDs

When one considers the compulsion Brandy and Blaire have for plastic surgery and the clear need to look like Kim Kardashian. As well as looking at the toxic nature of their commentary on other trans people. Their clear disdain for non-binary people and the use of the old transsexual/transgender fallacy to segregate themselves from the “weirdos”. You have to come to the conclusion that Brandy Nitti and co. are terrified they don’t “pass”.

In fact when we look at all the infamous trans members of the anti trans hate machine, Brandy Nitti, Blaire White, the Offensive tranny, Rose of Dawn, etc. we see a pattern of people adopting cliche’ and false ideals of femininity and masculinity as their entire being, while denigrating other trans people and sidling up with anti trans bigots.

We see weak people lashing out at people they perceive as visibly trans while embracing plastic surgery to an extreme extent.

Kim….is that you?

They live with the incredible fear that people will see them as they see non “passing” trans people. The source of their hate is an inner weakness and fear. They fear that people are looking at them and whispering behind their backs that they look like “men in dresses” etc.

What Brandy and Blaire don’t realize is that Kim Kardashian is not a real person. Well she is real as in, she exists in reality. However before all that plastic surgery and all those Brazilians were hunted to near extinction for their butt lifts, Kim Kardashian didn’t pass for Kim Kardashian.

Blaire? Brandy? Kim? Stop Fucking around and just tell us which one you are.

But it gets worse…..

If you thought this article was just for trans people, think again.

“Passing” isn’t just for trans people, it’s for cis people as well.

Everyone is trying to “Pass” at something.

Every single one of us, cis and trans, have a hollowness. We excavate and enlarge that hollow by measuring ourselves against the image we have of someone else. We exclude their foibles and struggles and curate a perfect and false image of them and then expect ourselves to measure up and exceed that image.

Maybe it’s society’s feminine beauty standards.

Maybe it’s Instagram influencers’ faux lifestyles.

Maybe it’s Andrew Tate’s leased Bugattis.

Or just the way someone else always “has it together” at work.

Whatever it is, we are all trying to “Pass”, we all have that hollow.

Even scientists do it.

If we are not careful one day that hollow consumes us totally and we refill it with the one dimensional false idol we created. We become no more profound than Kim K’s ass.

Nice to look at but ultimately not very real.

The image we, the viewing public have of Kim K is one dimensional. We see a beautiful woman who is rich and has it all together.

But that’s not reality.

Kim Kardashian leaked her own sex tape to get famous, she made her butt enhancement surgery a massive deal online for fame and recognition. She is so obsessed with image she started a shapewear company.

This is a deeply insecure person who can only find validation of her person in the opinions of others. She can never look at herself as herself, she can only view herself from the imagined perspective of others.

Hypocritically, while looking at herself from this false perspective she cannot grant herself the same generosity she grants her idols. She sees nothing but her faults and failures.

Never her intrinsic beauty.

Kim K sets a beauty standard that not even Kim K can manage. Brandy Nitti and Blaire White spend enough money to finance their plastic surgeon’s kid’s kid’s college funds to look like Kim K and then whine that transgender people make them look bad.

Inadvertently, both Blaire White and Brandy Nitti have become the perfect Kim Kardashian clones, and all three make other people feel inadequate via the mediums of You tube shorts and shapewear.

Plastic surgery, in moderation, can help you pass.

But only superficially.

That fear you have deep down of being seen as trans, surgery isn’t going to fix that. No amount of general anesthesia, liposuction, hair transplants and boob jobs are going to fix those fears.

There is simply no security in surgery and the loving arms of the false god that is “passing”

“Passing” is something that can never be attained, because passing is something you can never control or even do. “Passing” is what you imagine other people’s perception of you is. You can act in a certain manner and have as much surgery as you like in an effort to influence how you think you are perceived, but this perception is false and in your mind.

This perception cannot see anything except trans or inadequate or ugly or short or any form of failure you think you are.

You can only win this game when you no longer play, when you refuse to fill the hollow with anything except love and acceptance of yourself as enough. Then you can “pass” as the only thing you can ever possibly be, yourself.

I am embracing who I am and I know somewhere out there is a cis woman looking at my trans body thinking “Fuck, I wish I looked like her” and to her I say Thank you, and if you eat enough pizza and have really small boobs, you too can look like me but you will never “pass” for me.

PS. Brandy if you ever read this: I hope you outgrow this toxic crap and you’re pretty and cool and this MAGA/Blaire White vibe makes you ugly. Be better, be yourself.