Why Some People Don’t Like Sparring?
Sparring is a key part of martial arts training. It is one of those things that will bring your game to an extra level, make you sharper, and get you into fight-ready shape. No matter what you do, you can’t develop timing, feeling for distance, reactions, or even focus without sparring.
Despite all the benefits of it, there are many people who, for various reasons, don’t like sparring. Some of them might be even afraid of it, but more about that later. But why do so many people avoid sparring sessions, and what they can do to change that?
In this article, we will explore all the reasons why some people don’t like sparring. And, we hope to break many myths that will change your mind.
Ego Disturbance
Many people don’t want to spar simply because they have a big ego that just can’t deal with “losing” in sparring. In their minds, they see this part of training as a real match in which they must win to feed their ego and feel better. Once the session does not go as planned, which often happens, they would have a hard time accepting the fact they “lost”.
This is crazy because it gives you a wrong perception of what sparring is all about. These people should realize that this is just a part of training that will help you get better at fighting. It is normal to step into sparring and get beat up by your partner as this gives you the best insight into the holes in your game. Do you really think that the best fighters in the world have all won every single sparring session in the gym? Of course, they didn’t.
This is notably true when it comes to grappling arts like BJJ where you really have to check your ego at the front door. This is because every BJJ class includes sparring and as a beginner, you will eat many humble pies. In fact, you will get submitted for months before you finally have some success in sparring. This is why not everyone can become good at BJJ as ego plays a big role.
And you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself if you feel this way. We all have an ego and we all learn how to control it. The only thing you need to do is to be honest with yourself, learn that “losses” in sparring are good for you and a part of learning.
They are afraid of getting hurt
There are a lot of people, notably beginners, who are afraid of sparring. First of all, that is totally normal. I felt the same way the first day I entered the kickboxing gym and saw two people blasting each other in the ring. What I didn’t know was that these guys were pro fighters who were preparing for a match. But I quickly realized that sparring is very safe and I should not have been afraid of it and here is why.
In a good gym, students wear protective gear whenever they are doing anything that can get them hurt. This is a golden rule of every good gym that focuses on the safety of its students. In sparring, you will wear full padded gloves, shin pads (if kickboxing), a mouthguard, and a head guard. On top of that, beginners must use from 30–50% of their power when throwing strikes.
Doing things this way prevents any injuries from happening. Wearing a gear and not throwing with power just can’t get you hurt. Yes, accidents happen sometimes, but that is a part of any sport out there. You can break both of your legs in soccer if someone tackles you the wrong way.
They think it’s not necessary
We know it may sound weird, but this is true to some extend, except for grappling arts like BJJ or Judo. If you train martial arts for fitness, weight loss, to get rid of stress, then you don’t need sparring at all. Working hard on a heavy bag or hitting the pads would be enough for you to achieve your goals.
But if you train to learn self-defense, take part in amateur or pro matches, then you are making a mistake, or you are delusional. Some people think they know all about fighting without taking part in a single sparring session. This is especially true for students who train in those fake martial arts we don’t even want to mention.
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When it comes to fighting, it’s very simple. How would you know if you are good at it if you never spar in training? What’s the other way to develop the feeling for distance, timing, reactions, learn how to stay calm, or apply techniques you know? There is no other way and you have to accept it. If not, then maybe martial arts is not for you.
This can even be dangerous, notably when it comes to striking arts. It gives you a false sense of comfort that might hurt you on the streets. Sooner or later someone will expose your skills in a painful way.
They can’t control their emotions
Although they are in the minority, some people just can’t control their emotions in sparring. Whether they are afraid or too aggressive, these people can’t handle that adrenalin rush the right way. In fact, most of them don’t like it at all.
This is really bad, notably if you have a problem with aggression, because you may hurt someone. Most of them are aware of this which is a reason why they don’t like sparring at all. Instead of feeling good and relaxed after the session is over, they feel even more stressed. It even doesn’t matter if they have won or lost, the level of stress is always the same.
You see, sparring is playing with your senses all the time. If you and the partner are going hard in it, your mind can forget that you are in a safe environment and training. It can start behaving like you are in a real fight and get out of control. And this is where the fight or flight mode kicks in and you become aggressive. This even happens to pro fighters.
The person responsible for these types of people is the head coach in the gym. They are the ones who must pull them aside and have a serious talk with them. Some of them might start working their way out of this problem, while some may leave the gym.
Some people can find a way to deal with this through meditation and various other exercises that may help you control your emotions better. On the other side, some might need to start talking with the sport psychologist or other experts in that field.
Our tip — sparring is safe, fun, and essential
Sparring is just a part of the learning process that will make you a better martial artist both inside and outside the gym. This is the only thing you should focus on when thinking about whether you should spar or not. When you approach it the right way, sparring will become your favorite part of training. It is fun and will make you a better person.
If you get beat up in three or four sparring sessions in a row, is that a reason to stop? The only person who cares about that is you, and no one else. Your task is to focus on technical aspects that you are missing in your game and improve. Don’t let the ego get the best of you and stop you from unleashing your true potentials.
As for the ones who are afraid of sparring, bear in mind just one thing. In most schools, there are various types and levels of sparring. As a beginner, you will start in, what we call “controlled sparring” which is very safe, and here is how it works.
Let’s imagine you are in the kickboxing class, and the coach says you must practice one-two boxing combo and finish it with a low kick. You will throw that combo using 20–30% of the power and when you finish, then the partner would throw the same combo back at you. This is how you get used to receiving and throwing strikes. As you are making a progress, the sparring becomes more and more spontaneous.
Hopefully, this helps you in understanding why sparring is useful in martial arts training. If you don’t already, you should give it a try.
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