When you learn how to make yourself happy, you become unstoppable.
I became a person that was able to uplift herself, a superpower I am proud to possess.
I once knew this girl in high school. During freshman year, she was bubbly and full of life. She walked the halls with a smile on her face, not a care in the world. But that all abruptly ended when her grandmother passed away from cancer. It was like her life was in a downward spiral with no end in sight. The worst part of it all was that she never talked about her pain. She was alone because she kept it inside. Her facade prevailed as she was a great actress. Her friends were never able to tell that something was ever wrong with her. The only person who knew was me… because that girl was me.
During AP Psych my junior year of high school, I remember learning about defense mechanisms. People love to keep things bottled up inside to protect their egos. Of course this makes sense. No one likes to be vulnerable. No one likes to feel belittled. Sometimes, though, opening up is the only true way to protect ourselves from our own thoughts. But it can be difficult to recognize this revelation as a high school student or even as a young adult.
In my experience, recognizing that you may have a problem is the first step in the healing process. I went through a majority of my high school career suffering in silence. It started with my grandmother passing. Then the school work began to pile up as I took on more and more AP level courses. Then I ran out of time to eat three meals a day to make room for the other thousands of things I “had” to do. Then I had to take care of my friends problems because they were more valid than my own. Really, the list could go on forever. The point I am making here is that I never took the time to pause and reflect on my own mental health. That took a major toll on me. I would burst out into tears at random and get sad for no reason; I could not figure out why. So I slowly started to talk to people about some problems I was having during my junior year of high school. I thought “maybe if I talk to somebody it will help.”
At first, it did not. My guidance counselor basically blew off my problems. My parents just happened to fit the mold of the stereotypical African parents; as full of love as they are, they do not take the time to listen to their kids mental health concerns because “talking to a professional does not look good on record.” So here I was, alone again, in a world that stigmatized the importance of taking care of one’s mental health.
Fortunately, I found another outlet. I poured my heart and soul into activities that I loved doing, things I knew that would help me feel better. I started an online and handheld journal. They were places where I could say anything without feeling judged. I continued to run track and field, which not only helped me get into shape but allowed me to improve on my eating habits. I became a person that was able to uplift herself, a superpower I am proud to possess. Towards the end of my senior year, I started to realize that being my own healer was crucial. I learned that it was okay to talk to people as long as I did not depend on them to be my stabilizer.
When you learn how to make yourself happy, you become unstoppable.
Now that I am in college, I have come to find out that quite a few people struggle with their mental healths. At Duke, the administration and students work very hard to destigmatize conversation around mental health. I cannot stress how important this is. Once people are aware that it is an issue across the board, it makes it easier for others to talk about it. To specifically tackle mental health concerns, Duke has a place on campus called CAPS which has counseling and psychological services. Students are able to seek advice from a diversified group of professionals. The best part about this, in my opinion, is the fact that students are encouraged to visit CAPS even when they do not think anything is wrong with them.
I think part of the reason so many students may be afraid to talk to a professional is because they believe that it confirms they have some sort of problem. This is not always the case though. Talking to someone can also be used as a preventative measure. Speaking what is on your mind is a way to make sure you are doing alright. If you are not, you can take the necessary steps to ensure that you remain on a healthy path. Getting an adequate education is extremely important, but that education means nothing when your health is at stake.
So, if you have taken nothing from what I have had to say here, keep this in mind. If you need help, do not turn your problems into a twitter meme and hope somebody will reach out to you via DMs. It is alright to talk about your problems in a serious light, big or small. People who are struggling may show warning signs, so please do not ignore signs of depression or withdrawal from your peers. If you see something, say something. That beautiful song Logic wrote was not just for entertainment purposes. If you are in immediate need of someone to talk to or are feeling suicidal, please call the suicide prevention hotline at 1–800–273–8255. And always remember this, you matter.
Nurah is a content creator at Mascot. She is a sophomore studying Chemistry (Pre Med track) at Duke University.
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