A Useful Attitude When Someone Cannot Understand How You Feel

We can communicate information, but not wisdom. When we have a conflict with someone, we can try our best to explain our perspective, but there are situations when they cannot understand no matter how much we have tried.

For example, you may tell them how their words or actions hurt you. But from their point of view, it doesn’t make sense that anyone would be hurt by that. They might conclude that you’re being overly sensitive or overthinking.

In such situations, it’s normal to feel confused, frustrated, and develop contempt toward them. An inner voice may keep asking why they are so obtuse. We cannot silence that voice unless we adopt a more constructive attitude.

Let’s think about this carefully. Ask yourself: Where does your wisdom come from? Why do you have it while they don’t?

Wisdom is not something to be proud of, nor should it be used to measure someone’s worth. We often learn wisdom through accidental, and usually painful, experiences. You cannot truly know what it’s like to be burned by fire unless you’ve actually experienced it once.

Seeing it this way, it becomes clear that we are foolish and arrogant in trying desperately to force others to understand our experiences through words alone.

We accidentally learn the pain of getting burned and then arrogantly expect others to know the same pain. In other words, are we judging people as less worthy than us just because they haven’t walked into the same fire as we have?

When I realized this, I was no longer frustrated when someone didn’t understand me, nor did I try to explain excessively. Because I don’t want to push anyone into the fire.