Mindful Emotion Compass
Emotions are the language of the mind, guiding us to focus on certain behaviors to deal with specific situations. This compass can help us understand that language.
Overview
Emotions are the foundation of behaviors. The primary emotions we’ll explore are Pride, Shame, Joy, Fear, Anger, and Sadness. These emotions are neither good nor bad; each serves a function to help us navigate the world.
Healthy behaviors result from mindful emotion wielding, while unhealthy ones signal that we’re lost in oblivion, failing to understand what our emotions are telling us. As we stray further into oblivion, our mind develops the “heat of awakening” in various forms to rouse us from this state.
Emotion Wielding
When an emotion arises, we know (1) what it is, (2) its purpose, and (3) how to “use” that emotion to serve its purpose.
For example, sadness is necessary for letting go of disappointing experiences. Understanding this purpose, we adapt our behaviors to allow the emotion to work itself out. We may make time to relax or engage in mindless work, allowing sadness to occupy our mind until it resolves.
Emotions are like fever, they are healing mechanism. It is a common pitfall to view them badly and try to get rid of them prematurely.
As we learn to handle emotions properly, our mind develops trust in us. Our mind acts as a sensei, teaching us how to use emotions. Once we master emotion wielding and can consciously evoke emotions in response to situations, our sensei allows us full control of our emotions and behaviors.
For instance, we use anger to protect our boundaries. When we master the literacy of respect and responsibility, we can learn to consciously and calmly express anger to someone who tends to intrude on our boundaries, without hatred or blame.
Heat of Awakening
Unhealthy behaviors result from unmindfulness and misunderstanding the purpose of emotions. We often suppress fear, shame, and sadness while indulging in joy, pride, and anger.
Suppression disconnects us from our emotions. We become like babies who are hungry but can’t express what they want because they can’t distinguish hunger from other types of stomach pain.
Indulgence occurs when we fully act on emotions without awareness of them. We indulge in joy without gratitude, pride without leadership, and anger without responsibility.
When we don’t understand the language of emotions, our sensei creates various forms of “heat” to wake us from oblivion.
For example, if our mind tells anger but we keep blaming others, it creates the heat of hatred. If we persist in blaming, the heat accumulates until we explode.
Fear
Fear tells us that challenges lie ahead. Mindfulness of fear leads us to increase our efforts and maintain steady progress in the face of challenges. Ignorance of fear leads to avoidance behavior.
Mindfulness -> Consistency, carefulness, engagement, deliberation
Oblivion -> Avoidance, procrastination
Heat of Awakening -> Anxiety
Shame
Shame means we’ve discovered something in ourselves that we don’t like to accept. Mindfulness of shame allows us to embrace that discovery and integrate it into ourselves while retaining self-worth. Ignorance of shame exacerbates self-rejection, leading to unhealthy behaviors to avoid accepting our imperfections.
Mindfulness -> Contentment, self-acceptance, embracing imperfection
Oblivion -> Inferiority Complex, seeking validation, comparison, perfectionism, workaholism, excessively trying to prove oneself
Heat of Awakening -> Envy
Sadness
We experience sadness when we lose something or are disappointed and need to let go, move on, and prioritize nurturing what remains. Resisting sadness is like avoiding a fever; we never heal and carry regret for life.
Mindfulness -> Letting Go, relax, self-care, self-love
Oblivion -> Regret, grief, lacking of self-care, being stuck in the past
Heat of Awakening -> Depression
Joy
We usually experience joy when we gain or achieve something. This emotion tells us to be grateful and carefully consider who or what helped us succeed, who or what was lost along the way, and who cannot affort such good opportunities. It prompts us to share opportunities with those in need.
Ignorance of joy leads to complacency and conceit, resulting in a state of infinite emptiness and insatiability.
Mindfulness → Gratitude, sharing, compassion
Oblivion → Conceit, carelessness, complacency
Heat of Awakening → Insatiability
Pride
Pride is our sense of leadership. It tells us we’re capable of doing something great and need to use that ability to serve others. Unawareness of indulgence in pride makes one self-centered and use their power for superiority.
Mindfulness → Leadership, humility, motivation
Oblivion → Narcissism, self-centeredness, superiority complex
Heat of Awakening → Contempt
It’s common to mistake contempt for anger. Anger is the power we use to protect ourselves from external intrusion, but contempt is the heat hinting that we’re not protecting anything but our sense of superiority.
Anger
Anger hints that we’re neglecting security measures to protect ourselves or what’s important to us. It tells us to take responsibility and maintain higher guard while respecting others. Blaming or denial of responsibility results from indulging in anger.
Mindfulness → Responsibility, respect
Oblivion → Blaming
Heat of Awakening → Hatred
Conclusion
We can’t control emotions and behaviors because our mind doesn’t trust us, and that’s because we’ve never demonstrated that we understand the purpose of each emotion and can adapt our behaviors properly.
Self-control isn’t about forcing ourselves to have certain emotions or behaviors; it’s about building trust between our sensei mind and our conscious self.
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