The Flow of Emotions — And the Power of Regular Small Failures
The secret to going far is to embrace small failures regularly. The secret to sustaining love is to get used to failing each other’s expectations.
The power of regular small failures applies to every emotionally driven phenomenon in our lives. This is because it is the wave-like nature of our mind to flow around the emotional cycle.
Fixation on achievement and idealism is our denial of natural losses and failures. We keep avoiding the downfall emotions and thus accumulate resistance little by little every day until our emotions get stuck in the resistance cycle constantly.
A simple trick to help maintain our humility cycle is to apply the 80/20 rule to any of our emotional expectations in life. In other words,
When we expect something 100%, always be prepare to fail 20% of them intentionally.
Work & Success
For example, when we have a daily plan to complete 5 tasks in a day, we do our best in the morning to achieve all the tasks. At the end of the day, we find that we can only complete 4 tasks. In that case, instead of overexerting ourselves and skipping sleep to complete the remaining tasks, we have to embrace the failure and be kind to ourselves.
If we keep overexerting to try to achieve the remaining 20% each day, that 20% charges us the cost of accumulated resistance to nature in our emotional state, and eventually drives us into an unhealthy emotional cycle.
Relationship
This rule also applies to love and relationships. When you invest your love in anyone, be assertive to yourself and your loved one that you WILL TRY to fail 20% of each other’s expectations regularly.
No pain in this world is more severe than facing the reality when someone, who used to always be 100% good to us, fails just 1% of our expectations.
Idealism
In general, any form of our emotional expectation is called “idealism.” Our “addiction” to the supreme results, the perfection, is the fixation or attachment to some ideals. We may be fixated on some social qualities of ourselves such as unselfishness, excellence, perfection, safety, security, etc., and thus suffer greatly when such ideals cannot be achieved even a little bit.
When we practice failing 20% of our ideals intentionally, sometimes when it accidentally fails, we will feel “grateful” for it because that is just what we are looking for!
Six Emotional Moves to overcome pain
When someone hurts you, rejects you, or walks away from you, (1) respect their choices and stand firmly. Then be (2) mindful to the pain in your emotions and (3) embrace it. Be (4) kind to yourself and then (5) relax. Finally, (6) say thank you to it because it is a loving gravity from Mother Nature to stabilize us in the atmosphere of humility so that we do not suffocate in the celestial of resistance.
