The Misconception of Desire

If you have ever heard someone telling you they want to die, and you ask why, you probably are misinterpreting the meaning of “want” in this context.

We do not have a common word to express this mental state. But I believe most people understand a situation such as when you want to do something that “you” don’t want to, or, you don’t want to do something that “you” want. Please notice that there are 2 different “you”s in this situation, namely the “conscious you” and the “unconscious you”.

Whenever a desire happens, it always involves these two kinds of self, and thus can be distinguished into 3 types.

#1 The Desire

The first type of desire, which is the most common one and actually fits its meaning, is when the unconscious self produces the desire, and the conscious self agree with it. For example, when you say

“I want to drink orange juice.”

Usually, the desire to drink something sour is originated from your unconscious self, and your conscious self agree with it, and can further suggest that the something sour can be orange juice.

This is the most common type of desire to happen. And when it does, the two selfs become one. And it is difficult to differentiate one from another.

#2 The Decipline

The second type of desire is one that is produced by the conscious self, and the unconscious self can go for or against it. In the case that the two selfs agree, one will achieve the so-called flow state, or self deciplined, self control, etc. On the contrary, if the unconscious self resists, it is when we experience laziness.

This is the only type of desire that is reasonable. It is the only right place to explain “the reason” for a desire. You can ask anyone why they consciously want to do something.

#3 The Suffering

The third type, the most fatal one, is when your unconscious self produces the desire that you don’t want consciously. Such as when someone “wants” to die. I believe not so many people have a conscious desire to die.

This type of desire is a suffering. We suffer because we actually don’t want to do or be something that our unconscious self forces us to be. We say that “we want to …” in words just because we don’t have the vocaburary the express this mental state, but we utterly wish for the opposite.

So, when someone try to express this type of desire, many people don’t understand and keep asking the sufferer to re-validate their reason.