5 “Twilight Rituals” You Should Start Using Every Night
How Golden Hour can (and should) change how you view your days
We live in a world that struggles with work-life balance. Because of this, we struggle with time and emotional boundaries and often find ourselves unaware of when we start and when our jobs begin.
So, what is a twilight ritual?
I discovered this term on an Intelligent Change blog written by Kinga Lewandowska. It’s linked here. In it, Lewandowska writes about this concept, describing how the “golden hour” of the afternoon shouldn’t just be about the sunset looking pretty, but about shifting our mindset to get ready for the day to end.
Imagine you’re out camping — and you’re trying to figure out when you should do certain things. By the time the sun goes down, you need to have your lights ready to turn on so that you can finish dinner or other projects, gather around the campfire with friends, and have your tent ready to sleep in for the night.
That doesn’t mean that you immediately jump to do those things, but slowly but surely you take the external signal of the sun setting to make sure you’re ready for the next phase of the day.
This is a principle and concept we can utilize in our non-camping lives too.
Twightlight rituals you can start tonight:
#1: Change the lighting in your home
I think one of the first steps you can take to make the bedtime transition is changing the lighting. If this is something that you can automate, amazing. but it’s also something that you can just manually do when you get home or at a certain time.
For me, when I get home at golden hour, I often find myself shifting the color of my desk lamp and turning on a light near my bed.
I also started changing the lighting in my living room and kitchen to be less harsh and flip on the front porch lights.
“More than 80% of the world lives under light polluted skies, a figure that rises to over 99% for European and US populations. And it’s getting worse, light pollution is growing at twice the rate of global population increase. “By creating light pollution we’re masking one of the most important information-givers that is natural to us,” says Seymoure.” — BBC: The argument for switching off lights at night
Growing up, turning on the front porch lights of our home was the perfect micro-habit to shift to the evening hours. It was usually around the time dinner was ready in my home, and so when I turned on the porch lights when my mom asked, I knew subconsciously that my dad was about to get home and we were about to sit down to eat dinner.
This family ritual allowed us to leave work, schoolwork, and the busyness of the day behind. To this day, that remains a micro-habit that plays a huge role in helping me wind down at the end of the day.
#2: Leave work behind
When you come home from work, whether that means driving home from the office, the coffee shop you were at, or just standing up from your desk in your home office, you have to leave work behind. We do so much damage to ourselves and our families by not having clear boundaries with our occupations.
This can also look like changing clothes or shoes when you get home. Growing up, I loved how when Mr. Rogers got back to his house wearing his suit he would change into his house/relaxed clothes.
You are not your work.
“In American culture, identity is inextricably tied to your job and career. According to a recent survey, about four-in-ten workers (who are not self-employed) say their job or career is extremely or very important to their overall identity.” — The Hill: You Are Not Your Job: A Reminder To Reclaim Your Life
Leaving your work behind doesn’t mean you don’t love your job or aren’t passionate about your work — it simply means that you have good boundaries and know that work isn’t your whole life.
3. Slow down
This can look like drinking tea, talking to your kids, taking a walk with the dog, or listening to some chill music. Look for opportunities to give yourself subtle cues that life is slowing down. And don’t think that this has to happen in the quiet of your home.
I’ve often found myself at a gathering or group study with my church or on the sidelines of my cousin’s sports events feeling just as slow and relaxed as I do at home with a cup of decaf coffee in the evenings.
“Here’s my point: the solution to an overbusy life is not more time. It’s to slow down and simplify our lives around what really matters.”― John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry
Sometimes this looks like calling my mom, other times it looks like going for a walk at the campus recreation center with one of my close friends or watching a Full House episode with my boyfriend.
Whatever this looks like for you, slow down. Get away from the stress of the day and take a breather. We’ll get into more of what you should replace that stress with the next suggestion.
4. Have fun
Not enough people delight in their life. There’s just not enough creativity and fun happening for so many people, and it’s a shame because there’s so much fun and joy to be had.
“It’s good to be curious about many things.” — Fred Rogers
Maybe you need to sit down and play a game with your family, watch an episode of your favorite show, or watch a good movie on a Friday night. with your friends. No matter your budget or your time frame, I think it’s essential to gather your people together, whoever they are, and have fun on purpose.
Growing up, for me, this often looked like a dance party in the kitchen, or, even now, it looks like gathering together to play a game or watch a movie.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, and it doesn’t have to be expensive — it’s just all about having fun, delighting in life, and leaving the work for tomorrow.
5. Prepare for the next day
An essential part of ending the day for me is getting ready for the next one. Oftentimes this looks like packing my bag for the day ahead, resetting my space, washing clothes, clearing off my desk, and messaging people about the next day or checking in with my family.
If you’re a parent or a spouse, this probably involves a lot more coordination, making it an even more crucial twilight habit. Making sure your family is ready for the next day, whatever that looks like, can help your days run so much more smoothly.
“…though each habit means relatively little on its own, over time, the meals we order, what we say to our kids each night, whether we save or spend, how often we exercise and the way we organize our thoughts and work routines have enormous impacts on our health, productivity, financial security, and happiness.” — Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit
You can also adjust from the things that happened that day, Maybe you didn’t pack enough in your lunch or need to get a new water bottle because yours broke.
This time of intentional planning allows you to give yourself the greatest leg up for the following day. You’re able to plan the day with less stress than doing it the day off, and you’re able to schedule things like buffer time and pauses during a busy day and pack everything you need for the day well in advance.
Taking care of things earlier helps you to not only be an effective planner but also to be less stressed when the morning finally rolls around.
Oftentimes, we let the hours of our late afternoon slip us by. Just think, you have upwards of five hours every afternoon once you’re done with work at the quintessential 5 p.m. office closing time.
With the right mindset and habits in place, you can get a lot of meaning, love, and productivity of a different kind out of those five hours.
I hope these Twilight Ritual recommendations have been helpful, and that you’re able to establish a little more structure, routine, and meaning into your nightly rituals as a result. Best of luck!
