6 Signs You’re Too Busy To Live Your Life
And how to fight the burnout that’s about to hit you like a ton of bricks
“Katie, you’re so busy”. “Katie, you like never have any freetime.” “I would ask you to do something but I have a feeling you might not be free.”
These were the things that friends in my life kept telling me as we got further and further into this semester. However, being the stubborn mule of a human being that I often am, I insisted this was not the case.
“No, I’m not that busy — I just seem busy.”
Famous last words.
Quickly after uttering what would soon be my own self-inflicted death sentence, I began to slip up in every area of my life — recounting finally in my October review that I didn’t feel like I was thriving in anything. “Jack of all trades, master of none” comes to mind as a catchy little phrase that had become my life.
“We are unprepared in part because, for the first time, the preponderance of choice has overwhelmed our ability to manage it. We have lost our ability to filter what is important and what isn’t.” — Greg McKeown, Essentialism
I am a professional and personal dabbler, putting my toes in every single pond possible but never fully getting in to enjoy the water.
Whatever signs there were that I was overburdened had somehow gone unnoticed by me, resulting in a charade of lying to myself and eventually regretting how much I’d committed to.
If you’re anything like me, you might be growing secret resentment towards your life and your over commitment as well. If so, here are the six signs that you might look for that I completely missed:
#1: You don’t have time for the people you care about most
This semester, I could track how busy I had become by how recently I’d been able to watch Madam Secretary with my roommate and best friend. It was a good metric because for the first time in forever, we could go an entire week and a half without seeing each other in the early evening.
Because we both have so many commitments this semester, we just never had the time and weren’t even able to make it if we wanted to. I realized, quite early on, that this was a sad side effect of the life I’d signed up for.
“The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” –Marge Kennedy
If you don’t have time to spend with your favorite people, whether it be your family, close friends, a significant other, etc., then you might have a bit of an overcommittment problem on your hands.
Not being able to see and spend meaningful time with our closest friends and family is a tragic result of a life spent doing activities that didn’t really mean all that much to us.
#2: Your schedule is littered with inconvenient microcommitments
One of the biggest reasons that I didn’t believe that I was all that busy going into the semester was because every commitment I had looked small on paper. President of this organization, socials coordinator for this organization, facilitator for this class, leader of this book club, etc.
“I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn’t find the time to do it.” ― Todd Stocker
However, I would walk through the semester continually singing up for more of these microcommitments and weekly events that were literally taking over my schedule — and then I would look up and wonder where my time went.
Many of these things were things that I craved and longed for, but because I had come in with so many of them already in my schedule, I had less and less time to commit to both the micro and larger commitments that I so desperately wanted to have time for.
#3: You never have a free evening
This is more of a practical indicator that you’re overcommitted, especially for families. If no one is ever home at the same time, or you find yourself never being able to watch the sunset through your living room window, then there’s a strong scientific possibility that you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off.
“Margin is “the space between our load and our limits.”― John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry
Look at your schedule. If you’re never home at a reasonable time in the evening because you’re out doing other things, you might be missing some much needed margin in your life.
#4: You’re neglecting yourself in the name of “getting it all done”
People who put off taking care of themselves often find themselves paying the price later.
Growing up, I was always fascinated by story lines of busy working professional characters who went too hard and then ended up having a heart attack or developing an anxiety disorder that they mistook for heart problems.
I always wondered, “Does that really happen?” It wasn’t until accidentally becoming a wildly stressed out undergrad that I realized how easy the road to anxiety, stress, and physical manifestations of both are.
“When you don’t take care of your body, your brain can’t do its job. […] If you want energy for your brain, you need to take care of your body.” — Jake Knapp, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day
If you’re always putting off eating well, working out, slowing down, sleeping enough hours, giving yourself a night off, or just stopping for a second, then you might have a problem.
I realized this showing up in myself again just the other day when I crawled into bed and got under a comfy blanket and just felt my body relax as I finally gave myself a moment to do nothing.
If you’re going, going, and going some more, 24/7, in the name of working until you’ve earned a break, your body, mind, and work will probably soon all be paying the price.
As someone who has tried it her whole life, I can tell you know that with that attitude soon you won’t have much of a life to live.
#5: You don’t get excited about the activities and commitments you have to attend
I think this might be the worst result of an overcommitted life. You simply don’t enjoy your life anymore.
“We’ve been granted the mental capacities to make almost infinitely ambitious plans, yet practically no time at all to put them into action.”
― Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
The things that you signed up for out of obligation or trying to prove something swallow up the things that you most wanted to make time for, like weeds choking out the good plants in a field or garden. This is a sure sign that you might need to let some things fall off of your plate and politely start saying no to the things that don’t bring you joy.
I’ve often heard this referred to as “Marie-Kondoing your schedule” — and I’m most certainly a plan of the practice. Ask yourself, does this bring me joy? And if it doesn’t, find a way to remove yourself from that commitment.
#6: You don’t feel happy
Maybe this warning sign seems a little cheap and simplistic compared to the more practical ones above. However, I think this is important. Aren’t we signing up for all of these things because we think they’ll make us fulfilled?
“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” — Henry David Thoreau
If what you’re signing up for isn’t doing its job, there might be some reevaluation in order for how much you’re committing to things that you don’t genuinely enjoy.
I believe that with a little big of life design and intentional effort that anyone can be happy with their life — even if they’re a little overcommitted, have to work a lot, or don’t have the perfect schedule.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t try to design your weeks to be the most advantageous, enjoyable, and bearable for you.
Don’t fall into the oblivious and carefree mindset that I did as I gave away free handouts of my time to any signup sheet that came along. Intentionally choose where you’ll spend your time — and then enjoy every last second of it. Good luck!
