I Smell What The Rock Is Cooking (And He’s Not The Only One Cooking)

Now that The Rock is in the ad business, let’s take closer look at the new agencies launched by the biggest stars of the Fast & Furious Franchise.

As if running an independent creative agency wasn’t hard enough, this week The Rock announced that he was launching a new advertising agency. No big deal. We already compete with international holding companies, bands of freelancers and thousands of other agencies. Might as well add the world’s most bank-able movie star to the fray.

What the press release didn’t explain, though, is that The Rock isn’t the only member of the Fast & Furious family to enter the ad business. Here are seven more agencies launched by the stars of my all-time favorite movie franchise.

Founder: Vin Diesel
Agency Name: La Familia Torretto

In a move that surprised no one, La Familia Torretto opened its doors last year as the in-house agency for Corona. AgencySpy has also reported that the fledgling group is in talks to represent Hanes white tank tops and Caterpillar-brand work boots.

Founder: Michelle Rodriguez
Agency Name: Please Go Away

Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty has died and come back to life more than a couple times in the FF Universe. Most fans barely tolerate her. Some fans openly loathe her. With an overall approval rating in the low 20s, Rodriguez decided to lean into her unpopularity and proudly formed a programmatic media planning/buying agency. Their slogan: Who cares if ads are good—or if anyone sees them, WE’RE PRINTING MONEY!

Founder: Jason Statham
Agency Name: Transport Inc

Statham announced just last month that he would be leading a new agency headquartered in Europe, but looking for a North American HQ somewhere along the eastern seaboard. He’s somehow strong-armed a merger of every single automotive agency that has every existed. The new holding company, Transport Inc, will not actually produce any advertising. Instead, he will personally drive a new car right into the homes of prospective buyers around the country and then punching them in their faces until they agree to buy a fine, European auto. (Updated euro-centric agency plan h/t: Kyle Snarr)

Founder: Kurt Russell
Agency Name: Russelltober

After hearing that some guy in Portland spends every October watching nothing but Kurt Russell movies, Mr. Russell launched his own branded-content agency. The shop currently has no clients but has 14 subscribers to its YouTube channel. With those sterling results, Russelltober is already considered one of the top content agencies in the world.

Founder: Charlize Theron
Agency Name: Game of Therons

Game of Therons, a new venture that does whatever it wants, allows Ms. Theron to do whatever she wants. Because, seriously, Charlize Theron can do whatever she wants.

Founder: Tyrese & Ludacris
Agency Name: JKLOL

As a two-man partnership, Tyrese and Luda do what every dude-tastic AD/CW pair does — they kick back on a couch, eat lots of snacks, and make jokes while resting their feet on the wall. One day, The Client will understand their brilliance and they’ll make a series of improv-style ads that win ALL THE AWARDS. Until then, they’ll keep fighting the good fight against digital strategy, data, analytics, account managers, producers, client feedback, and all the female creative teams that keep getting the Good Briefs.

Founder: Gal Gadot
Agency Name: Diana

Despite being funded by a holding company that does nothing but suck, Ms. Gadot has somehow become the most powerful and respected woman in the industry. Her team of incredibly diverse (mostly female + a few strong/respectful/woke men who may or may not look like Chris Pine) staff has already delivered the best mass-market campaign of the year — though it was obvious that the clueless (predictably white/male) holding company executives attempted to drive the work off a cliff. Yeah. I’m talking about DC and Wonder Woman and not an actual advertising agency. DC is the worst. Wonder Woman was great. Gal Gadot is amazing. I wonder if she’s hiring.

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