Listen at Work And Also All the Time Because You’re a Decent Person
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have rather talked.”
― Mark Twain
Actions that Will Make You a Better Listener:
Pay Attention
We’ve all done it. One second you’re asking yourself, did The Doors have a bass player? And the next, you realize mouth sounds have stopped from a fellow worker staring into your soul.
Paying attention is an obvious thing to do. Sometimes though, we screw it up. It’s helpful to occasionally look into the other person’s eyes during in-person conversations. If you’re on the phone picture what the person looks like as they’re talking to you. Over the phone or in-person: don’t mess around on your cell phone, step away from the computer, turn off the TV. Give the same level of attention to their words as you want them to give to yours.
Assume the Other Person is Smarter than You
Why? Statistically speaking, there’s a good chance they’re at least as smart as you are, and besides not judging people is cool. You place yourself in a better mindset when you open yourself up and welcome what the other person can offer. This brings us to…
Be Open to Being Wrong and Accepting New Knowledge
Are you sitting down? Okay good, I need to tell you something serious. You’re wrong about some things. Which things? You’ll have to listen to other people to find out. If someone says something you viscerally disagree with then try to ask them [politely] how they arrived at that conclusion. You might learn something new, something about them, or something about yourself.
Listen to Body Language and /How/ the Person is Talking
Okay, this sucks but what someone says with their words might not be what they’re actually saying.
1) Imagine you’re trying to divvy up a project with a colleague. While looking off in the distance with their body collapsed they say, “Yeah, I’m okay with that.” They’re actually NOT “okay with that.”
2) Think about someone who said they loved you when you knew they didn’t. How did they say it? (I’m SO sorry I brought them up!)
Ask for Clarification
Don’t nod and say yuh-huh like an idiot when you don’t understand something. You can cash out your ignorance now or let it compound over time and get a bigger ROI because of your ego. Knowledge compounds too; start saving sooner rather than later.
Take Notes (If Appropriate)
“I’ve got a good memory.” No, you don’t. What did the first sentence of this Medium story say? Take notes when appropriate.
Accept That What A Person is Saying is More Important Than What You’re Thinking About Saying
If you didn’t remember and didn’t look back at the first sentence it was a Mark Twain quote, “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have rather talked.”
This is one of those things I hope you already know: If you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next instead of the words coming out of the other person’s mouth then you’re doing it wrong. If you speak, what you say should be a volley back to the person based on what they last said.
Be Here Now
Every conversation is a miracle, so try to appreciate each one. Really, so many things had to happen beforehand. All the people that had to survive and copulate for you to be here, all the people that had to survive and copulate for the other person to be here, all the sabertoothed-cats that had to be dealt with. BIG CATS WITH SABERS FOR TEETH.
The point is, no matter what you think about cats, your co-worker telling you about Mrs. Meow’s sleeping habits is an achievement for humanity. (Yes folks, Mrs. Meow is married.) Try to be more present.
Be a Better Listener and Be More Likeable
Who do you like more, people who listen to you or those who don’t?
