You’re 16. You’re a Pedophile. You Don’t Want to Hurt Anyone. What Do You Do Now?

There’s no helpline for pedophiles who want treatment before they act. So a teen with a terrible secret had to find his own way to save himself and others like him.

By Luke Malone
Illustrations by Simon Prades

Nominated for a 2014 National Magazine Award for Public Interest, which honors magazine journalism that illuminates issues of national importance.

Adam was at his desk in the second-story bedroom of his family’s suburban home when he came across it. He had recently switched file-sharing programs to one that offered more content and faster browsing, and his downloading habit had increased in kind. There was now a constant stream of files whose names included acronyms such as PTHC, or pre-teen hardcore.

The boy in this video was fair-haired and looked to be about one and a half, his small, naked body tied up to restrict movement. A man’s torso entered the frame and the child began to scream. As he watched the scene unfold, Adam…