Nihilism is a pretension, a posture
a first-world problem.
We are not owed meaning
but when it does find us
it becomes a measure of our legacy.
I lost my ability to believe in nothing
with that first sonogram, the splotch
of squirming cells on the monitor
the doctor nonchalantly confirming
the positive home pregnancy test.
That splotch of cells is now fourteen
on his way to becoming a man.
(Not just yet, not yet!)
It wasn’t an epiphany
more a starting-over point
time put in the hard work of
unfucking a lifetime of bad habits.
Which admittedly remains
— Matthew S. Spira © 2020