13 Reasons Why gives us every reason to watch
Whether it’s 1977 or 2017, high school is not easy no matter how old you are or what year it is. Peer pressure, puberty, sex, first-time drug use, getting a driver’s license, late night parties, making the sports team, SAT’s, applying to colleges, trying to obtain a scholarship; there is an endless list of reasons why high school is brutal and scary, and why many kids wish they could just hit the “fast forward” button on life and just skip straight to college. There is one major difference between going to high school decades ago as opposed to today — cyber bullying. Back in the day, bullying ended once school was out for the day and you went home, where it felt safe. Today, with cell phones, computers, and endless social media outlets, bullying doesn’t end when the bell rings.
Two months ago, I was in Seattle on vacation for my birthday and waiting for my friend to show up at my favorite brewery for dinner and drinks. Before I could even say “Hey,” my friend asks me, “Have you heard of this show 13 Reasons Why? It’s on Netflix.” I told him I hadn’t, and that’s when he told me it’s the show I need to be watching right now…as in I need to cancel this dinner and go home and watch it!
13 Reasons Why is a powerful teen-drama on Netflix about a group of teenagers in high school and how all their actions and choices lead to the suicide of a young girl, Hannah Baker. The show begins after Hannah has already killed herself (not a spoiler), and introduces us to Clay Jensen, one of Hannah’s only friends. Clay comes home to find a package full of cassette tapes on his porch. The cassettes are recordings that Hannah made before killing herself. There are 7 tapes, each with a reason to why she pushed herself to suicide. As Clay listens to each tape, we see Hannah’s story play out through one heartbreaking flashback after another.
Spoilers Ahead!
In the first episode, Hannah meets a jock named Justin, who seems as sweet as he is handsome, and takes Hannah on a date to a public park at night. Hannah feels lucky she made a new friend, and potential partner, in a new school where she doesn’t know anyone. A great night turns into a miserable morning the next day when Hannah discovers that everyone in the school has received a text containing a picture of Hannah’s underwear. A picture Justin took of Hannah as she rode the slide at the park the night before. Only days into her new school, Hannah is labeled a slut and has been backstabbed by a jerk only pretending to like Hannah to impress his basketball friends.
One by one, and episode by episode, Hannah is betrayed and let down by one friend or potential lover after another; and with every passing episode, the show gets much darker and darker. Hannah witnesses a rape scene take place in front of her eyes, participates (on accident) in the destruction of a stop-sign that causes the death of another student, loses her struggling family’s money on her way to the bank, is photographed in her own home being romantic with a fellow classmate and friend for the whole school to see, has a very personal, very embarrassing poem she wrote published in the school magazine for everyone to read, and loses her only true friend, Clay, when she pushes him away after being unable to “let him in” from being screwed over by so many guys before. In the last episode, which is easily the hardest one to watch, Hannah is brutally raped by the head jock, Bryce, fails to get help from the school guidance counselor, and finally decides to end it all, in a very powerful, heartbreaking scene where she slowly slits her wrists and bleeds to death in a bathtub. When Hannah’s mother notices red water coming from the bathroom door, she breaks in to help Hannah, but by then it’s too late. This was one of the hardest scenes in a television show I’ve ever had to stomach.
Hannah’s story may be a little far-fetched and fictionalized, (after all this is a TV show that needs drama and conflict to attract viewers), but that doesn’t change the fact that everything she goes through in the show represents the kinds of schoolyard-abuse, bullying, and cyber-bullying that thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of kids go through every year in high school. For many of those kids who are bullied, and even adults who were ruthlessly bullied in high school, like myself, 13 Reasons Why was a painful trip down memory lane.
One major criticism the show has been receiving from TV critics and some viewers is that 13 Reasons Why may be inadvertently glorifying Hannah’s suicide to show kids a way to get revenge on your bullies if you are suicidal and picked on. Critics argue that Hannah uses the tapes to hold her bullies and those who wronged her hostage, inflicting fear, anxiety and paranoia, and that someone dealing with depression might see that as a way to punish their own bullies in real life and “make them sorry.” Selena Gomez, an executive producer of the show, has come out publicly against this argument and claims the show and the producers had no intention of making 13 Reasons Why a show that tries to glorify suicide or revenge in any way, but rather to show the consequences of bullying and how far a mean prank or tweet can go.
I must say, while I do see the critic’s point very clearly, and I can understand their concern, I do agree more with Selena Gomez. This is a show that deals with something we all go through at some level, and I think most young viewers will understand that, and I also believe this will influence the bullies more than the bullied. Anyone who watches the show and sees themselves in a character like Justin, Alex, or Zach might re-think how they are behaving and come around to treating their classmates better and stop the mean jokes, tweets, and Facebook posts. Hannah’s unfortunate fate speaks volumes to bullies everywhere that even the little things you do to others that you think is funny, isn’t very funny to the ones you do it to. You never know how stable or broken someone is on the inside, and that last mean prank you played on someone might be the one that pushes them over the edge this weekend, and when they don’t show up to class on Monday, there’s no amount of praying or apologizing you can do to take it back. Their action is on your conscience forever.
To anyone who sees themselves in Clay Jensen, feeling like they could have done more to save Hannah, think about anyone in your life or at your school who you think might need a compliment or friend to hang out with, and give it to them! Let them know they are cared about, have worth, and their friendship means something to you. The most powerful thing Hannah says in the show is in her exchange with Clay in his dream when he confesses his love for her, and she asks him, “Why didn’t you say this while I was still alive?!” Never put yourself in a position of regret, where you wish you said or did more with someone after losing them.
I don’t think the show’s intentions are to be just as mean to the bullies as they are to Hannah, but rather to show young people these days that someone you might think is a slut, a loser, a wimp, a nerd, or a freak might only appear that way because of the way everyone around them treats them. We all can give someone a chance to find out who they really are for ourselves, and in most cases, we see the person doesn’t reinforce their negative stereotypes at all, and you might even make a new friend when you do!
It’s not hard to be nice to others. Just a warm smile, wave or handshake can change someone’s day, and the long-term effects of kindness can change someone’s entire life. If you bully or have bullied someone before, really think about what you’re doing, and what the worst result of your bullying can lead to. Would you still bully someone, then? Is posting that embarrassing picture of someone worth getting a few laughs at the expense of someone’s dignity and pushing them into a dark depression? When you see that story on the news of another suicide, will you be asking yourself “Did I do that?” or will you be the type of person who, years from now, that new friend you made in high school will tell you how you saved their life during their most vulnerable, dark, and weakest point in life, and they are sitting next to you now because of it. Consider being that type of person! The one who helps build lives, rather than help destroy them. 13 Reasons Why might be a dark, grizzly, hard-to-watch show, but seeing the worst of what can happen from bullying is never bright and happy. Hannah’s suicide story isn’t the first time someone was bullied to the point of suicide, but we can all help to make it the last one.
About the Author:
Brian Moniz is a 28-year-old man from San Jose, Calif. He studied filmmaking and writing at San Jose State University from 2010–2013 and got his bachelor’s degree in Radio-TV-Film. Throughout his high school and college years, he worked as a music and movie journalist and critic. Having only recently come out of the closet himself in 2014, Brian enjoys writing about LGBTQ issues. His only regret when it comes to his sexuality is that he didn’t come out sooner. Read more by Brian here.
