24 Hours in Vegas with Elizabeth Warren and Brandon Wolf
by Sara Elizabeth Grossman
Grief affects all of us in very different ways. Sometimes, people fold into themselves, not wanting to talk about it. Sometimes, we push ourselves into action and keep going and going and going to avoid the anxiety from the grief. I live in the second camp, as does my friend Brandon Wolf, who survived the Pulse Nightclub shooting in 2016.
While I have found volunteering, working for nonprofits, and helping start our own nonprofit to honor our friend Drew Leinonen, whom we lost that night, I have also had a mental block around something else: spontaneity.
Prior to my flight to Orlando on June 14, 2016, I was a spontaneous person. I would have no qualms booking a last minute flight or hopping in the car for an impromptu road trip with friends.
For the last 3.5 years, that was not the case.
I think it was a two-fold situation: I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic who I was afraid to leave unless I had to for work. And on top of it, I was afraid that if I went anywhere, something bad — like one of my best friends getting shot and killed — would happen and I’d need to be home.
I didn’t say it was rational. It’s just how my grief happened to work. It’s worked like that for almost 4 years at this point.
Until this past weekend.
Brandon was asked to meet the Warren campaign in Las Vegas and introduce her at a town hall on Presidents’ Day. No questions asked, I immediately looked at flights. That was my gut instinct and I rolled with it.
After hemming and hawing over it, my (very supportive and secure) girlfriend told me to just get on the plane. Go to Vegas for a day and support my friend.
Some things even went wrong:
- I thought I booked my flight for just 24 hours; it ended up being 48 and I needed to get a hotel last minute.
- I had to pack everything in a tiny backpack to make it worth it (thanks, Frontier!)
Some things, though, went very, very right:
- Another friend joined the trip and met us for the town hall.
- Brandon asked for a room with two beds and the put us in an incredible suite with an even more incredible view — right across from Elizabeth Warren’s rooms.
- During our roundtable with Moms Demand Action, Elizabeth came in and sat right next to me and squeezed my knee or hand every once in a while, as we spoke about the importance of gun violence prevention in our country. I tried not to cry.
- I got to meet and speak with one of my political idols while supporting one of my closest friends, who has done incredible work fighting for what’s right in honor of our friend, Drew.
Drew was one of the friends in my life who I could be spontaneous with. In college, we would get in the car and drive to the beach from Orlando. We would go club hopping and dance and jump around until all hours of the morning and do it all again the next night. We had infinite time, infinite energy, and would always feel young and vibrant enough to be whoever we wanted to be. I think part of my spontaneity was stolen from me the night he was killed.
I didn’t meet Brandon until the day of Drew’s funeral. It is not lost on me that energy can move in different ways, through different people. It is not lost on me that I lost one great friend and came into a loving friendship with another — his new best friend — and formed a lifelong bond through grief and advocacy as we (and a few others) launched a nonprofit to honor our friend.
I guess what I’m saying with this post is: thank you, Brandon. You brought the spontaneity back that I thought I’d lost forever. But now I’m charged up and ready to travel to support you at a moment’s notice because like I said three years ago when this all began — I’m going to be your hype girl for life.
And as for Elizabeth Warren? Meeting her and feeling her kindness and sincerity and actually wanting to be in the room to chat with us, even though she didn’t have to meant the world to me. Listening to her story of struggle as a teen with a single-income household being the thing that drove her to politics was inspiring. She had a cold that day and was pretty hoarse, but her message was loud and clear: she has a plan for everything, she has what it takes to return us back to the days of hope over fear and courage over cynicism.
I feel hopeful and spontaneous again. 2020 is my — and our year.
About the Author:
Sara Elizabeth Grossman is the editor of Matthew’s Place and the former communications manager for the Matthew Shepard Foundation. She has an MFA from The New School, is a co-founder of The Dru Project, an Everytown for Gun Safety survivor fellow, and runs a LGBTQ-specific digital marketing firm in Denver, CO. You can find her on Twitter — @sosarasaid
