Have you ever met someone and just clicked? Maybe they were visiting your city or you were visiting theirs. Or maybe you met in high school and now are attending college in two different cities? How ever you met your long distance love, keeping that flame burning can be a challenge even to the strongest couple.
Schedule Time to Talk
Both relationship experts and people in long distance relationships agree on one thing: making time to talk frequently. Life gets busy and when you aren’t actively in the same space it could become easy to cancel calls or just not schedule them as all.
“We both make an effort to schedule a time each and every day to chat with one another over the phone or Skype. Even if it’s just a short 5 minute phone call, we both try our best to commit to making that phone call. This can be difficult depending on how different the time zones are, however, a short daily phone call has been a secret of ours,” says Angela Watson, a clinical social worker and sex therapist.
Your call may very well not be daily, maybe it’s weekly or twice a week, but get something on the calendar and keep it sacred. Staying involved in your partners life, listening to the tough days and celebrating the happy moments will show your partner you love them.
Write Your Partner a Special (Love) Song
Are you musically inclined or maybe enjoy writing poetry? Writing your partner a song to show your love can be a unique trick to have in your bag. You can write the words and find a friend who can put music to it, or you can use a service like Bring My Song To Life.
Send Your Partner A Care Package
Nandita Godbole, author and food writer, at Curry Cravings (TM) LLC shares how she shows her husband care through food. “As a food writer, and married to someone who loves food — I often make shelf stable treats, meal additions and snacks for my husband. These are tailored to his likes and dislikes, and are specific comfort foods he is fond of (and are not generic, out of a box preparations)”
Making your partner a special treat at home and mailing it in a care package is such a touching way to share your love. You take the time to be creative, make something from your heart and show them that you pay attention to their preferences. Does your partner love to munch on nuts and seeds? Roast and season some papitas — they’ll love them and they stay good for a while!
Plan Your Next Visit
Anticipation is almost as exciting as the visits themselves. Plan the little details of what you’ll do together, what adventures you know your partner will love, where you’ll eat and most importantly set a date! This way you can count down and get more excited as the days get closer.
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor shares this, “While you may spend most of your time apart, it is important that your time together is memorable. Plan your schedule so you can spend time in person on multiple occasions throughout the year. These visits will strengthen your bond and give you the strength to carry on in between in-person meetings.”
Surprise Your Partner With Love Notes
Snail mail might be dead in most of the world, but there is nothing more heartwarming than a hand written love letter you find in your mailbox. Take the time to find a nice paper, and write a letter that will impress your love. Looking for a less traditional way? I love sneaking my fiancee’s phone away and creating surprise notifications through her Google calendar. I’ll set the notification a few weeks or a few months out with a little note reminding her about how beautiful and loved she is.
Live in a different time zone and wake up hours before your partners? Matt Pasini, a transgender actor in a relationship with someone in England, says, “type really long, sweet messages before I go to sleep because I know he’ll be waking up soon.”
Here’s the bottom line: keeping any relationship alive takes work. When you are long distance you must actively work to insure that your partner knows you love them. These tips are just a few of the many ways to keep it burning brightly.
About the Author:
Chaya Milchtein is the driving force behind Mechanic Shop Femme. As an automotive educator, speaker and writer, she’s made it her life’s mission to educate women and LGBT people about their cars. Her website also highlights her work on her other passion: empowering women to live their best lives in the bodies they have, through fashion and modeling. Chaya’s work has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, Go Magazine, and others. She lives with her fiancée and tortoise in Wisconsin. Follow her on twitter @mechanicfemme.