A Trans Teen’s Fight for Acceptance — Vote With Pride
By J.J. Koechell (He/Him)
Growing up was difficult. I was told how to act and behave, and any deviation to that would cost me. I was never a happy kid. I was always angry with the way I was dressed and redirected.
The level of misery I experienced reached a new low when I attempted suicide in middle school. I felt like a boy trapped in a girl’s body and I didn’t know what to do about it. The lack of openness within my district left me alone and in the dark with my feelings. I was taught girls were born girls and were expected to behave as such. There was no room for discussion. But I realized I wasn’t the girl society expected me to be. I discovered I had these feelings because that simply wasn’t me.
No one talked about being transgender. At that time I had never even heard the term. It was only when I had attempted to end my life that people stopped telling me how I should feel, and started listening to how I was feeling.
Middle school was difficult for me but with the help of the staff I managed. Still, I struggled and never really found a place to belong among my peers.
Adults often told me “it will get better in high school.” High school was very different for me but still not easy. Towards the end of my high school years I noticed things changing. Teachers in my district were more on edge and the bullying surrounding LGBTQ+ individuals greatly increased. I found out that pride flags were going to be banned in our schools. After this happened, the school environment became more hostile and it was clear I wasn’t welcome among my peers. I withdrew socially and only had my teachers.
From where I stand now I see that school board members stopped prioritizing the well being of all students in our district and brought political agenda into our schools. I was very much aware of the hurt and suffering the students and staff endured as these agendas were reinforced with implemented policies.
At a smaller scale like a school district I could see the negative impacts on the people within the community. School board members ignored public comments made by LGBTQ+ students and their allies about the policy of banning pride flags. The way that people have politicized students and demographics for political gain is a huge problem.
Moving away from the school view into the community, it’s still hard to be transgender. Not everyone is okay with letting you live your life. Some people feel entitled to know what you have between your legs instead of just respecting you.
In my state we have protections for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals but not for gender diverse individuals. The discrimination and fear spread about the transgender community is from a lack of acceptance and respect.
As I realize the importance November 2024 will bring I am shocked by the comments that have been made regarding the LGBTQ+ community. Most people are advocating for protecting minorities that regularly encounter bias based bullying and discrimination. Others speak directly against minority communities and oppose something that that I know would’ve made my school life the best it could be.
In America we get to vote to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and generations to come. When it comes to being an American, we need to think about the people in our country and how we can help them before we can help others. All the abuse towards LGBTQ+ youth simply boils down to fear and lack of education. As a result we get intolerance, from intolerance comes hate, and that hate is harmful.
I find myself asking, why is it so hard to let people love another for who they are? Hate is taught to children, not born.
When I was 12 years old I had no idea what transgender was. I just knew I wasn’t happy as a girl. Everyone in my life was telling me I had to be a girl. What saddens me is that many LGBTQ+ youth will attempt suicide because of the stigma surrounding certain identities. No one should ever feel like death is their only way to feel relief from the distress induced by people forcing societal norms on them.
Our country is so divided and it is vital we come together as one and create solutions. This upcoming election can change the lives of millions. We’re called the melting pot. We’re United. We’re not exclusive. No religion preaches hate. No religion can be used to justify discrimination against others.
To anyone who might be struggling: You got this. You can get through this. Stay true to yourself. I believe in you. I see you. I will not stop fighting for you. Help me fight for the LGBTQ+ youth who don’t have a voice yet. Let’s come together to fight against hate and bring back love. Look at who is going to be on your ballot and what their policies are for LGBTQ+ people and vote accordingly, especially if they have the power to change your life or the life of someone you love.
About the Series
- To check if you are able to vote, visit nass.org/can-I-vote
- To register to vote or to check your voter registration, visit vote.gov
- To find the location and time of polling sites near you, visit usa.gov/how-to-vote
In 2024, across the globe, more people are going to vote than ever before. It is vital that you stay informed, and that, when the time comes you vote. The Vote With Pride series aims to motivate people, especially young queer people, to take their life into their own hands this year by casting a ballot.
About the Author
I’m J.J Koechell, I’m an advocate for LGBTQ people. I’m also a photographer and an artist. I specialize in concert photography, graphic design, drawing, digital illustration, digital art, and photo editing.
I currently work with U of M Twin Cities leading a Youth Advisory Board and Contributing to a dedicated research team. This research team is focused on intersectional identities of youth and the disparities they face. The reason I advocate and work to improve conditions for young people is because as a transgender man I know what it is like to struggle and be scrutinized by society. Some goals I have is to improve the policies within school districts to include the respect of transgender students and acknowledge them as equal students to their peers. I also would like to create legislation that creates protection for LGBTQ individuals and improves the quality of life for all.
If you would like to contact me with any questions or inquiries my email is jjkoechell@gmail.com
Stay strong everyone. You’re not alone.
