Confessions of a Sapphic Fangirl: Why I Lean Towards MLM Ships
By Mya Tran
I felt bad, sometimes. I grew up waist deep in the internet, reading fanfiction, watching anime, reading comics posted as screenshots to Instragram, the like. Of course, I participated in fandoms and shipping. I’ve been in the trenches of chronically online arguments and petty wars via comments under people’s posts. One of the topics that doesn’t ever seem to die down is the divide between MLM ships and WLW ships. Since fandom culture has existed, MLM ships have existed, but appreciation of female characters is relatively new, let alone appreciation of WLW relationships.
MLM ships have always been more popular. Male characters in general have always been more popular. If you dig hard enough, you can probably find comments I’ve left dating back to 2012 harping on people not appreciating WLW relationships enough and not appreciating female characters in any genre. I’m the first to speak up about how even though the patriarchy has taught us that women are second, are lesser, we deserve to be in the spotlight just as much as anyone else. We deserve the exact same treatment as everyone else, even in fictional worlds.
I’m sapphic. Big women liker, here. But here’s the thing: I prefer MLM fandom content, about 80% of the time. Not saying all MLM ships are better than WLW ships, but if you were to look at every pair I’m interested in, they do lean very. . . man. I wrestled with this for a while. Like, a while. Why do I, someone who vastly prefers women, enjoy MLM media more than most WLW media?
The answer will not shock you. I’ve found that, most of the time, male characters are simply written better. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are men, or that I like fictional women in relationships with women less, but that, often, fictional men tend to have more of a personality. It’s the upsetting truth. It all circles back to how the patriarchy has told us women are second, lesser, and so, even in WLW media, women are written as bland, boring characters. It’s not women’s fault! It’s men’s. The historical man that has convinced generation after generation that women are meant to be pretty and nice, well-spoken and soft.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop pushing for more acceptance of WLW media and ships. But, I will also start pushing for quality WLW media. Sapphic media that represents lesbians, biseuxals, pansexuals, all women loving women as real people. People with personalities. People I want to watch fall in love over and over again. I, as a sapphic, deserve to see the same heartbreaking fanfiction tropes done well and done gay (women style) until I’m nearly sick of it. That’s what men have gotten. It’s what women deserve.
About the Author
Mya Tran is an incoming junior at Butler University, in Indianapolis, IN. They are currently studying English on the creative writing track and German. Growing up in a small college town with limited queer role models, Tran has spent her life with her nose in the books, looking for someone to relate to.
