“Forever Is Now” — Matthew’s Book Club
By Rashauna Herm
“I guess I’m just feeling hopeful for the first time in months — hopeful that there might be so much more waiting for me around the corner from this moment. That maybe, just maybe, I’m meant to be exactly where I am right now.”
In the opening scene of Forever is Now, teenager Sadie Dixon feels at peace resting under a tree at her favorite lake, embraced in her girlfriend, Aria’s, arms. As Sadie is enjoying this nice summer day, Aria unexpectedly drops shocking news on her. Coincidentally, right as Aria makes her revelation, both young girls witness first-hand a senseless act of police brutality. In the collision of circumstances, Sadie feels small and her sense of safety is uprooted in one fell swoop.
After witnessing the unjust incident, she appears to feel untethered from reality, and she retreats into herself for days. She was already having a tough time dealing with her diagnosed chronic anxiety! After feeling like she can’t leave her own house without the world collapsing in on her, Sadie works with her longtime therapist to find a diagnosis for her new symptoms — agoraphobia. While Sadie is learning to accept herself and heal, protests are popping up all over her hometown of Oakland, CA, in response to the injustice at the hands of the police. Sadie is passionate about social reform and wants to use her voice for good, but how can she be a part of change, if she can’t leave her own house?
Forever is Now, a young adult novel written in verse by Mariama J. Lockington, is a transcendent piece of work about mental health, Black Joy, and finding strength in a world that constantly tries to take your power away.
I think this book paints an accurate portrait of what it is like to be a Black person as well as an anxious person in America. It’s a mind boggling experience to have an anxiety disorder, worrying about those sometimes intangible “what ifs”, and on top of that, deal with the very real threat of being perceived the wrong way because of your skin color, and possibly having your freedoms threatened, at the least. Lockington does a fantastic job at emphasizing joy amidst what would otherwise be quite intense topics, and suggesting how we can use the things that we love to make us feel grounded.
I was attracted to the cover illustration on my edition of this book. The bright colors and gorgeous floral pattern, paired with a Black girl with a boisterous Afro and an Emily Dickinson-themed title — of course I needed it in my hands! Then, once I read the inside flap and saw that there were themes of anxiety, activism, and Black Joy amongst the everyday struggles that living in America can bring us, I was sold. Reading this book was an affirmation, as an anxious Black woman myself. What I truly cherished in the book was how therapy was such a natural and organic topic in Sadie’s family. In the times I grew up and for me personally, there was a lot of stigma against therapy in my family and in my section of the Black community around me. I always heard negative things about going to therapy that made me feel like I was just imagining things even though that wasn’t the case. I love that Sadie is a teenager and she has access to mental health resources. It sends a great message that mental health awareness should start young and it should be openly talked about among families, especially families of color!
Love the flow of the words on the page and I like that the book is in verse. It made me slow down and really put myself in Sadie’s world. I love her description of her hometown, Oakland CA, and her neighborhood. At times, it felt like I was actually sitting in Sadie’s fragrant backyard, right underneath her bountiful eucalyptus tree, enjoying the starry night sky with her.
Forever is Now is a meaningful read for any young person going through the struggles of trying to understand the mounting pressures of coping with stress, anxiety, and being Black in America.
About the Author:
Rashauna Herm is a 30 something Denver local. She enjoys a good potato-based dish, scary movies and glitter.
Matthew’s Book Club:
A Matthew’s Place series primarily written by Rashauna Herm. This series celebrates and and shares the queer YA literature we know you need and love.
