Lessons to Learn from Sophia Bush’s Coming Out Letter
By Christine Kinori
Earlier this month, Sophia Bush wrote an open letter discussing some of the recent upheavals in her life. However, what really caught our attention was the way she publicly announced she is currently dating Ashlyn Harris. For many of her long-time fans this was a shock, but the good kind, that makes us feel fuzzy inside.
In a series of events that could be straight out of a Hollywood script, Sophia filed for divorce from Grant Hughes in 2023. Shortly after, retired U.S. Women’s National Team soccer player Ashlyn Harris also filed for divorce from her partner Ali Krieger. The plot thickened when it was revealed that Sophia and Harris were dating. Unsurprisingly, the internet was abuzz with reactions. However, Sophia’s essay in Glamour magazine provided a deeper understanding of the situation and imparted some valuable life lessons.
Trust Your Gut
In her own words, Sophia explains why she should have trusted her instincts. Even before the wedding in 2022, she claims she felt numb. She knew something was wrong and ignored her instincts because she thought marriage was supposed to be hard. We can all relate to this statement. We persevear and hide our truth because society tells us that life is hard. We expect it to be hard and have totally given up on the notion that maybe it doesn’t have to be.
We owe ourselves the truth.
Sophia Bush has been a public figure for so long, and she, more than anyone, understands how the world loves a story. A picture-perfect story of happiness and fulfillment, but at what cost? While speaking about her realization that her marriage was failing, Sophia talked about the anniversary post her husband shared on social media. She explains how she threw up after posting a response to his idyllic online celebration of their union. We do that to ourselves a lot, hide the truth and perpetuate the lies because it is expected. Some of us have internalised homophobia because this is how we cope with hiding our authentic selves and our truths. However, we need to be brave enough to tell the truth, and that starts from within.
You are never alone
In a world where many anti-LGBTQ+ laws target young LGBTQ+ individuals, it can feel like you are alone. In the darkest times, it is possible to feel lonely and overwhelmed, but once you open up to others, you realize we are all in the same boat.
There will always be haters.
It can be exhausting to put in the work and have people ruin it. It took us years to regain our Pride, but we fight for it to this day. As Sophia narrates, it took a lot of work and hard conversations for her to come into herself. However, the online scrutiny didn’t see what was happening behind the scenes. Most people came out to bash and tear her apart. Most people are not aware of how terrifying it can be to come out. Being queer is not a random thing that happens one morning. It is a personal journey, and it needs to be respected more. Once you come out, there will be haters and many people who will judge you, but it is always good to ignore them. All their negativity doesn’t negate the tremendous self-growth and inner peace that comes with the joys of being free.
It is never too late to find your happiness.
Even from her essay, you can sense Sophia’s joy. She says she can finally breathe again. She describes it as a profound feeling of taking a heavy vest off her chest. At 41, she felt like this was her first birthday. Even though it is scary to admit to ourselves and our loved ones, there is a cathartic healing that comes from finally coming out. It is also never too late to find yourself. As we mentioned before it is a journey, and we are all on our own timeframe. You will get there when you get there. Enjoy the journey, and don’t pressure yourself to live on society’s timeline.
Well, those are just some of the few lessons young queer people can learn from Sophia’s eye-opening and vulnerable essay. Feel free to add any other life lesson you think is important for the queer youth.
About the Author
Christine Siamanta Kinori grew up in a little village in Kenya known as Loitoktok near the border of Kenya and Tanzania. All she wanted to do when she grew up was to explore the world. Her curiosity led her to join Nairobi University to pursue a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. She later got a job with an amazing travel magazine Nomad Africa which gave her the opportunity to explore Africa. She also writes for numerous travel websites about Africa and tries to create a new narrative in the media about our aesthetic continent.
Christine claims to have somewhat unhealthy addiction to TV and reading, as it is a fun way to keep herself occupied during the long journeys for her travel writing. She is also a believer of letting people be their beautiful selves. To her, love is love and it is the greatest gift we have as humans.
