MATTHEW’S BOOK CLUB: Chasten Buttigieg’s “I Have Something to Tell You―For Young Adults”

By Rashauna Herm

“Once I started to put the pieces of my identity together, a battle broke out in my head. What I had been taught about gay people from a young age, what kids my age were saying about gay people and what I felt in my heart began fighting and tearing me apart.”

Chasten Glezman Buttigieg didn’t always fit in when he was younger, growing up in rural and conservative Traverse City, Michigan. While Chasten appreciated hunting, fishing and generally conquering the great outdoors with his father and two older brothers, he preferred to spend most of his time at the library, at the bowling alley or soaking up the limelight on stage. In the late 90’s, when Chasten realized that he was gay, he kept that part of himself hidden away for a long time, playing a “good country boy” version of himself: straight, tough, and devoutly Christian. For years, he struggled with being closeted, feeling as if he always had a black cloud hanging over his head, distracting him from experiencing life.

Buttigieg knew that blending into his small town was more important than being seen. Buttigieg highlights his struggles growing up in the church, dealing with homophobia, and how he internalized that homophobia, making it feel as if he didn’t deserve love or that something was wrong with him, simply because he was gay. Chasten eventually found the courage to come out while in college — and when he finally did, he discovered that being true to himself was the most rewarding aspect of life.

“I Have Something to Tell You ― For Young Adults” is Chasten Buttigieg’s 2021 memoir adapted for young adult audiences, in which he speaks candidly about his experiences: growing up in rural Michigan, leaving home as a high school senior to study abroad in Germany, the struggles of being a first generation college student, coming out, the joys of found family, eventually falling for and marrying Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Peter Buttigieg, and becoming a father.

“I Have Something to Tell You”, comes at a time where rampant homophobia is spreading across the country with the help of misinformation, fear and unjust laws created by hateful politicians. Buttigieg wants young people across the country to stand up for their beliefs, challenge outdated norms and make space for everyone. As Chasten says himself, “Americans should be able to see themselves in the people representing them at the highest levels of government.”

To be completely honest, I have personally never taken an interest in reading a memoir from either a former presidential candidate or a candidate’s partner — a lot of times, the world of politics seems so bleak and uncaring that the characters involved don’t seem like real people, and it makes me want to escape the desolation by avoiding these types of books — but “I Have Something to Tell You” is a captivating look into Chasten Buttigieg’s life and a glimpse into a side of politics/politicians we don’t always see. Buttigieg’s warm, conversational demeanor made me glad that I read this. I love the tone of the book. It feels like having a conversation with a trusted friend. Even though his story is at times saddening, Buttigieg does an excellent job weaving in humor and relatable moments throughout the narrative. I found myself relating to Buttigieg more than I ever thought I would, especially having to deal with religious community members/family and unlearning internalized homophobia. I enjoyed cheering him on as he slowly began to accept himself and love himself exactly for who he is. To me, falling in love with yourself is always the best love story.

More or less apolitical, this book is for allies of LGBTQIA+ people to reflect on just how they can help their queer peers fit into the world, and how to use their voice for good; as well as young LGBTQIA+ community members who might be struggling with their reality. There is no right way to come out, nor is there a right or wrong time to come out; it’s all up to you — and when you choose to do so, there’s a huge community ready to adore you, just the way you are!

About the Author

Rashauna Herm (she/her) is a lifelong resident of Denver, Colorado and is a proud Black Queer. She is passionate about equality, Disco music, quoting ancient memes and petting cats. You can follow Rashauna on Twitter at @sk8tergrrrl666 or — if you’re lucky — you can catch her whipping around town on her roller skates!