Op-Ed: Holy Matrimony?
by Edward Paul Cummings
Some people insist that marriage is holy and sacred, but is this view accurate? Don’t we see examples where the partners deceive, hate and harm each other?
Is there anything more ambiguous than marriage? It’s promoted as a romantic, devoted and loving union, but financial institutions and businesses regard it as a financial partnership. The tax return for the United States doesn’t ask if your marriage is holy, but instead asks if you are filing jointing or separately.
Some theologians claim biblical support for the idea that marriage can only be between one male and one female while ignoring the accepted practice of polygamy found repeatedly in the Bible and still practiced in the Middle East. If people want to be in a polygamous or gay marriage, why should the government interfere in their personal lives? It’s none of their business.
People get married for various reasons. There are those who want to get their partner’s money and have various schemes to get it. How could there be anything holy or sacred in these marriages? These marriages are far worse than large-scale theft because the emotions, hopes and dreams of the partner are damaged as well.
A judge, city clerk, notary public, mayor or officer of the Salvation Army can officiate marriages in some states, but not in others. Should we really expect God to follow each state’s laws as to which officiant can make a marriage holy and which can’t?
There have been plenty of marriages where the partners didn’t want to be married to each other, but stayed together for various reasons. Just because two people continue to stay married doesn’t make it holy or better than those who remarry. It should be the quality of the relationship that matters, not the length of time.
Marriage officiants have not been able to make a straight, gay or group marriage holy, only legal. Consider Dr. John Bartlett’s words, “Only those in the marriage can make it holy.” A marriage becomes holy through mutual respect, trust, kindness, caring, consideration, friendship, commitment and love. Ideally, the partners would have similar interests, support their partner’s goals and assist their partner in overcoming their personal challenges.
When children are born out of wedlock, they’re referred to as a bastard, illegitimate or a love child implying they are of less value. The creative power we call God must not care because the children still get unique fingerprints, DNA and personalities just like wedlock children.
When marriage vows include the words, “till death do you part” it makes divorce more difficult and shameful, because the partners are placed in a position where they’ve lied. If a marriage ends, then some people look upon it as a failure, but a healthier approach is to realize that it served its purpose at the time. If a poor choice in partners was made, then hopefully a wiser choice will be made in the future.
Some state legislators have added waiting periods of up to two years to get a divorce. The freedom to end a marriage should be when one of the partners wants it, not delayed or made expensive because of the religious views of the state’s legislators. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness should be the right of all citizens, not just those that live in certain states.
President Thomas Jefferson’s comment on the first amendment to the United States constitution is that there should be a wall of separation between church and state. Those opposed to equal rights for the LGBTQ community seek political and judicial offices where they can force their religious beliefs on others through law.
President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address called for the nation to have a new birth of freedom, by the people and for the people. Governments, religious organizations and cultures should be providing new freedoms: gay marriage, group marriage, divorce with no waiting periods and freedom from laws based upon the intolerant religious beliefs of others.
Scientific understanding evolves over time, but so should religious understanding. Society needs to stop attributing divine powers to theologians, televangelists, clergies and religious organizations who claim they can make a marriage holy. The results speak for themselves, only the people in the marriage can make it holy whether it be a gay, group or straight marriage.
