Previously on Schitt’s Creek: Moira turned down the offer to be a part of the Sunrise Bay revival starring Nicole Kidman.
Wow, a lot can happen in a week!
Most of us are now quarantined in our homes as the Coronavirus seeps through our society like the lamest, strangest dystopian YA novel. Most of us are scared, some of us are stressed, some of us haven’t showered in days — some of us are all of the above!
The idea of living in Schitt’s Creek right now, free of a pandemic, feels downright heavenly. I’d welcome fresh freezer-burned mozzarella sticks that can’t hold their shape from the Café. I’d love to have Moira and David scoff at me on the street. It’d be a dream to have Jocelyn tell me she loves my style or Alexis “ew” at me. Everything is terrible but Schitt’s Creek is still wonderful and pure.
This episode opens with Stevie telling Patrick and David what their joint bachelor party will be. I’d pretend this idea sounds stupid but I’ve known lots of gay couples who have done joint bachelor parties and, ya know what, yes I still think it’s stupid.
As to why Stevie would be the one planning this is beyond me. She openly says she’ll be bad at it and it almost feels like the characters know this was made for an episode. But whatever. David and Patrick have custom made “I’m with stupid” and “Stupid” shirts and they’re perfect. Also, does Patrick not have a…best man or whatever?
Stevie has planned an Escape Room for the Rose clan to do together (truly, who would ever think that would be a fun group activity for them?) with drinks afterwards. The Rose fam is only concerned about drinks — but Patrick is excited about the escape room. Which annoyed me at moments but I eventually found it endearing. I’m not sure which was caused by brain worms but one of those reactions for sure was. Patrick is, very much in this episode, a very basic straight man (who happens to not be straight) — he even does the excited straight dude air punch in excitement that makes me cringe whenever anyone does it IRL. And yes, I am very much a David Rose so don’t even pretend to be wondering.
The party itself comes at a terrible time. Our beloved Alexis is spiraling about the cactus that Ted gave her dying, Johnny is waiting for a business call, and Moira is rethinking her decision to turn down reprising her role in the Sunrise Bay revival.
We watch Moira revisit her inability to do voice acting when she is booked for a commercial for Larry Air. The scene feels tedious but also weird — if Moira is turning down big roles like the Sunrise Bay one and also commercials for Larry Air then what’s the endgame here? Also, Larry Air, if you’re keeping track, is the real caca local airline that Stevie worked for very, very briefly. The scene is worth it for the brief moment, before they run out, when Alexis imitates Moira into the mic.
It’s weird to think how David and Patrick’s wedding has been a plot point in every episode, yet it’s all the other Rose family members who seem to be getting the most screen time and bigger storylines. David as a groomzilla has been the through line for most of this season, which I can’t wait for it to either turn into David learning a lesson in chilling out or to be dropped completely. We have 3 episodes left after this and I’m growing weary of watching David be a demanding nightmare. But, again, maybe it’s just because it’s like looking in a freakin’ mirror for me.
Have y’all ever done an escape room? I have. It was stressful and in a very small room — it was also Law & Order themed, so there’s that. This one is Galapagos themed (because that’s exactly what Alexis needed — a reminder of Ted) and in a huge room. Moira immediately sits down and I feel bad for Patrick but only he doesn’t even seem affected by the way the Roses are poorly phoning it in. Well, they’re phoning it in until suddenly David gets incredibly competitive and Alexis is just casually really good at the game. Moira stays seated the entire time while Johnny is freaking out about giving up his phone while awaiting his important business call. The business call is from a possible investor in the Rosebud Motel franchise.
Also, I kept thinking the entire time, “EVERYONE IS TOUCHING TOO MUCH! NO ONE IS DOING SOCIAL DISTANCING” because that’s how my brain works now. Alexis basically gets them out of the escape room in time for Johnny to listen to his voicemail from his client who is very much interested. I’m so used to this show playing out like Curbs Your Enthusiasm or Bob’s Burgers that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the client to have left another message saying, “Oops, nevermind.” But, thankfully, that moment didn’t come. They all hugged about it and we cut to the final scene.
The clan ends the bachelor party at a bar, where Alexis informs David she thinks it’s time for her to move on from Schitt’s Creek — a moment that both makes sense but is also heartbreaking. Our beloved Alexis is ready to move on while our dearest David has clearly planted roots.
Best Outfit: Moira in her white/grey wig with her houndstooth number paired with the yellow and white jacket.
Favorite Moment: Every time Alexis won a clue during their Escape Room.
About the Author:
Ian Carlos Crawford grew up in southern New Jersey and, like most people from NJ, he graduated from Rutgers University. He then graduated from New School with an MFA in nonfiction writing. His writing has appeared on sites like Geeks Out, BuzzFeed, NewNowNext, and other random corners of the internet. He currently co-hosts a podcast about his favorite thing, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, called Slayerfest 98 and is shopping around his fiction manuscript. Follow him on Twitter @ianxcarlos