Schitt’s Creek S6 E13 Recap: Tears of Endearment
by Ian Carlos Crawford
Previously on Schitt’s Creek: The Rose family was moving to NYC and Patrick wasn’t exactly sold on the idea. Your recapper was very grumpy about it all.
Now that time has no meaning because we’re all stuck inside, did you remember there was a new Schitt’s Creek? Did you even remember what day it was? I spent all of Tuesday thinking it was Monday and knowing, “Okay, tomorrow I have to watch the new episode of Schitt’s Creek to recap.” Silly quarantined me.
And remember what an absolute grump I was last week? How mad I was that we seemed to be circling the drain plot and character wise? How David’s character development was clearly put on halt to make the end of the season more emotional? Well, I sure ate shit this week because boy did I sob my way through the last half of this episode even if I was right about David (and Moira). They finally have started landing the plane and I couldn’t be happier. Notice how I also had to mention I was right?
This episode had it all: mimosas, surprise millionaires, tennis bracelets, and new homes!
Everything I complained about this season was promptly squashed in this episode. The chess pieces all moved real fast in this episode and with every move I found myself crying harder and harder.
The episode opens with Johnny pouring them all mimosas and saying breakfast is served. Alexis is excited and David is hungry. They’re all excited about this big move! Things are finally happening for our beloved Rose family!
Roland and Jocelyn, who I might add also deserve a happy ending, have bought a new car and swung by the hotel with it — Jocelyn congratulates Moira on the Sunrise Bay reboot to which Moira has to tell her she isn’t being a part of. Johnny tells her not to worry and Moira replies, in one of her is this nonsense or actually a really good motto moments, “I don’t. Worry is but undernourished enthusiasm.” I left that episode of Moira turning down the reboot feeling not so great but then this episode…well, we’ll get there.
David goes to speak to Stevie at the front desk where we learn two very important things: 1) Stevie has already gotten the happy ending I wanted for her — she may be keeping Schitt’s Creek as her home base, but she’ll be traveling across the country to help open all the new Rosebud Motels (!!!) and 2) Patrick looked at a cute little cottage that David expressed interest in, that’s not for sale, to buy for them.
Normally, in any other show, I’d be annoyed at this deus ex cottaga (I’m sorry) but because it’s this show my heart immediately began to swell. Of course Patrick, being the absolute perfect man, had done this. It’s a very Patrick move. And dear god when will I ever find a man like Patrick? I’ve dated exactly one man who came close to treating me this way and I almost text him after watching this scene like I was a drunk 25 year old full of regrets (instead of an emotional 37 year old stuck inside for weeks due to quarantine).
David goes to talk to Patrick, who sounds let down but still willing to go where David wants. You can tell we’re about to get the change David needed to make at the top of the season here in our 2nd to last episode ever. Patrick loves David so much he never asks him to change — David has to get there on his own. But we know he’s getting there. And can we talk about Noah Reid’s beautiful little cherub face that exudes warmness with every line he delivers as Patrick? Sigh.
Back at the hotel, Moira gets a package from Tippy Bernstein. I won’t lie, my quarantine brain is such mush that name blew right by me — I assumed it was just a weird rich person they knew from their past. Then she opened her tennis bracelet and, again, I thought, Wow one of her old rich friends sent her a — NO WAIT” and immediately burst into tears. It was her Sunrise Bay producer and when she made her outrageous demands that she knew they’d never accept, she had requested a tennis bracelet. They were offering her the role. Moira picked up a spare and got her full win. I was ugly crying because this was what I wanted all season. I wanted my beautiful bebés to all get their wins.
And then I didn’t stop crying for the rest of the episode.
“Let’s not turn this into a Hallmark movie of the week — I’ve done enough of those for a lifetime,” Moira tells the Jazzagals as they all go in for hug when she tells them the news. But she hugs them because of course she does. These people all love each other and dear god I am having too many emotions just writing this.
Speaking of wins, we then see Alexis visit one of her only real friends in town, Twyla, at the café. She’s bringing her a bag of her clothes that she thinks Twyla might like now that she has to downsize for her NYC move. This is where we get the weirdest, most unexpected character development — we learn Twyla is a literal millionaire, having won the lottery a few years back. She works at the café because she likes to and never mentions her money to the Rose family because she didn’t want to make them feel bad. Twyla, a character I hadn’t given much thought, made me cry! Alexis has a moment of shock, then tells her she should spend the money on something she really cares about.
Twyla meets Alexis at the hotel and tells her she did just that — she bought the café. She also tries to give Alexis a check, a moment that made me ugly cry, that Alexis turns down. If my Puerto Rican mother has taught me one single thing it’s when someone gives you something you take it and say thank you no matter what. Here’s hoping that Twyla tries again once she finds out David isn’t moving with Alexis — NYC ISN’T CHEAP, GIRL.
To continue my story of crying, we get a very tender scene of Stevie and David looking at the cottage Patrick tried to buy. David and Stevie have such good best friend chemistry. I love their energy but mostly because it’s the same energy I have with my best friend — I’m just worse than either of them at hiding my feelings (but they’re not that great at it either). David talks about his extremely relatable NYC stories. The moment he said he needed them to know he wasn’t a loser I lost my shit.
As someone who lived in NYC for a little under 10 years, interned at BuzzFeed, found his roommate dead in his bed, got into a really terrible relationship and got dumped the same day his grandma went into a hospice mere weeks before his lease was up — I can relate to how David feels about NYC. I wanted to be cool, I wanted to thrive, but instead I was severely depressed and hemorrhaging money. Instead of being actually happy, I wanted to be performatively happy. I wanted to have an attractive man to post photos with on Instagram. I wanted to be able to tweet about my great job no matter what it was.
NYC can kind of do that to you? But I can also say that, also much like David, I too have learned to be happy in my own Schitt’s Creek. I can’t do fun happy hours at gay bars anymore but I work a retail job where I like (mostly) everyone and while sex would be nice, I’m okay being single.
Well, ha ha, I say that but then David tells Patrick that they are going to live in this cottage because he made an offer they accepted and Patrick’s face — one that was worried about David’s feelings — nearly drove me to text my ex again. The way Patrick is always concerned with David is something that is an absolute attack on single gays everywhere, but more specifically, an attack on me. Because I’m still a David Rose and everything is about me. Just like this recap.
Anyway, I can’t wait to cry myself into oblivion next week during the series finale.
Best Outfit: The jean jacket with puffy shoulders, white top, and cute skirt Alexis wears.
Best Moment: THERE WERE SO MANY but the end, gotta go with that end where I cried the hardest.
About the Author:
Ian Carlos Crawford grew up in southern New Jersey and, like most people from NJ, he graduated from Rutgers University. He then graduated from New School with an MFA in nonfiction writing. His writing has appeared on sites like Geeks Out, BuzzFeed, NewNowNext, and other random corners of the internet. He currently co-hosts a podcast about his favorite thing, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, called Slayerfest 98 and is shopping around his fiction manuscript. Follow him on Twitter @ianxcarlos!
