Self Care in The Post-Holiday Season
By Lillith Rengstorf
Hello 2024! The holiday season can be very overwhelming, if not outright stressful, for everybody. However, it can be even more so for the LGBTQ+ community, especially queer kids and young adults. I am very lucky to have a very accepting and supportive family, but as an introvert, and the only out LGBTQ+ person in my close extended family, the holidays were a lot. I had a great time with my family, seeing people I haven’t seen in years, and meeting new baby cousins. But, at times, it was A LOT. Self care during the busy holiday season and during family gatherings is extremely important, especially for us in the LGBTQ+ community. So here’s some of my best (hopefully easy) self care tips for the next holiday season, or just whenever!
1. Take time for yourself! — I know this seems self explanatory, or obvious, however it’s taken me a long time to realize. Making sure that you’re checking in with how you’re feeling, and giving yourself space at large gatherings is SO important. So many times I’ve realized that I’ve been going, going, going, and talking to people for hours without a break, and I’m at the point of losing it, crying, or yelling at someone. Just simply stepping out, going for a quick walk, or just sitting in your car in the driveway, or even just finding whatever room the family pet is hiding in. Getting away from the noise and hustle and bustle of family gatherings is so important.
2. Find your safe people. — I am extremely lucky to have a supportive family, however I do know that this is a luxury that some people in our community don’t have. Finding your safe people is crucial, the people that you are going to be around that will stand up for you, or deflect any awkward questions, or rude remarks. Maybe this is a cousin that you’re close with, or your parent(s), or even a friend that you bring along or just a friend you can text with. Having some sort of support network, whether that’s actually in person at the event, or someone you know is around to text during the event, or to call afterwards is very important to taking care of yourself.
3. Don’t apologize for taking time for yourself. — Once again… self-explanatory. Just like you wouldn’t apologize for needing to step out to attend to medical needs, or work calls, don’t feel the need to apologize just for taking the time for your mental health. Even a simple “hey it’s a little too loud, I’m going to step out for a moment” is more than enough when it comes to letting people know.
4. Take care of yourself afterwards. — Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up, and make space and time to recover afterwards. Speaking as an introvert, my social battery drains fast! And I need to take some time after social stuff to lay in bed and not talk to anyone. Even more so during the holidays when I’m away from home, and don’t have my usual “home base” to recharge. This can look like anything from taking a long shower, to making yourself some good food, or even just laying in bed scrolling Instagram.
Overall, taking care of yourself during the holidays or any other busy time is so important. I hope this has helped, and if you struggle during the holidays as a queer person, you are NOT alone, and will never be alone. I love you, keep going!
About the Author:
Lilith Rengstorf is from Northwest Indiana, and recently graduated from Valpo High School. She will be attending Butler University for Biology in the fall. Lilith uses she/they pronouns and has been publicly out as bisexual for around two years. In their free time Lilith enjoys reading, sewing, and knitting.
