Straight Boyfriends at Pride: Allies or Unwelcome Guests?
By Mya Tran
I can’t solidly tell you how long this argument has been around, though it’s probably safe to say that it’s been a hot topic since the first Pride festivals and parades. People love moms in “I Love My Gay Child” shirts and dad’s with “Free Dad Hugs” signs but there is one kind of ally we can’t seem to agree on: straight, cisgender boyfriends.
As someone who identifies as bisexual and feminine, this is a conversation I hear a lot. “Can a bisexual girl bring her straight boyfriend to Pride?”. Many say no, they feel as though it is a overstep of their boundaries, to let a straight person into a space designed for queer people. But no one seems to mention straight girls who go to Pride with their bisexual boyfriends or friends who are allies, there to support their loved ones. So what is the issue with straight boyfriends?
This past Pride Month I attended my local Pride Parade with a friend of mine. We got dressed up, left the house early in the morning just to get a good spot, and waved our little flags and cheered for the drag queens atop kitschy floats. Behind us? A girl donned in blue, pink and purple and a boy in a gray t-shirt and black gym shorts. My friend recognized them from work and was able to confirm for me that the girl was bisexual and the boy was straight. I thought to myself, “fine, as long as they don’t annoy me”.
Spoilers: I got annoyed. In my opinion, everyone of any sexuality or gender is welcome at Pride. Pride is to celebrate who we are and the people around us. It is not my place to police who can and cannot be at Pride and who can and cannot support their loved ones. That being said, do your research. If you are a straight ally coming to Pride, be prepared for it to be Pride. Do not stand behind me at the parade and make comments about how “too many people have dyed hair” or wonder why everyone is “half- naked”. Do not disguise your discomfort with the reality of the queer community for concern of children’s innocence (additionally, if you want to bring a minor to Pride, be equally prepared).
I’m sure you can glean what all I overheard this boy say. Did it bother me that a straight man was at Pride? No. Did it bother me that a straight man was critiquing, putting down, and belittling Pride? It most certainly did. I take no issue with cishet people being at Pride. We have the term “ally” for a reason. I take great issue with cishet people at Pride not understanding what Pride is about. Pride is for the community. It is a space for the freaks and weirdos of the world to be proud of who they are, to celebrate each other and to love each other wholly.
So to every cishet boyfriend of a bisexual girl, I’ll say this: You are welcome to next year’s Pride, but remember, it’s not made for you. It’s made for us.
About the Author
Mya Tran is an incoming junior at Butler University, in Indianapolis, IN. They are currently studying English on the creative writing track and German. Growing up in a small college town with limited queer role models, Tran has spent her life with her nose in the books, looking for someone to relate to.
