We Are Never Single

by Meg Mottola

Love can be define in so many ways. Growing up, a lot of us have this idealized and romanticized version of what it looks like. Then there are those who may be so turned off by the idea of being “single” that we latch onto any relationship we can get our hands on because of how our society has defined “singlehood.”

In a podcast I was listening to recently, they were talking about the concept of being “single” and how that is just a term that society has taken on when referring to someone who “isn’t in a long term relationship.” But what they said is that no one is ever really “single” simply because we all have so much love around us from so many different people in our lives; and we can give so much love to those people. The length of a relationship should not define love. Love is about connection. If we can transform how we view love, then our relationships would be better overall. For me, this concept really hit home. It allowed me to take a new perspective and just think about all of the love I’m surrounded by from the people in my life every single day.

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that single is bad and people will judge us if we’re single; as if it means we’re flawed. Or worse, we internalize it. We think we aren’t good enough; worthy enough; pretty enough, etc., if we’re single. It’s easy to default to “No one is going to love me. I’m unlovable. I’m going to be alone for forever.” But again, it’s about redefining “single.” Just because one isn’t in a long-term relationship has no bearing on the amount of love in one’s life. Love is not dependent on being in a long-term relationship. Love is about connection. It’s about vulnerability, authenticity, courage, and bravery. Therefore, love is always there by various people throughout our life.

If we can connect with someone, we have experienced love. Maybe it’s in a gift they gave you, a song someone shared, a smile from a stranger, a hug from an old friend, a night full of self-care. All of that equates to being loved and giving love. It’s always around us and that’s why we are never truly single in this life. We have the opportunity to cultivate many relationships throughout our life, whether that’s a romantic or platonic; whether it’s long term or short term. Regardless of time or type, love is always there; people are always there. We are never alone. Don’t let society define what you are. Stay true to yourself. Open yourself up to the world of love and you’ll realize that you have never and will never be alone.

Love and light,

About the Author:

Meg Mottola is an east coaster but a traveler at heart. Aside from her work with Matthew’s Place, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. She is in recovery from a 10+ year battle with Anorexia. In addition to writing, Meg enjoys running, traveling, jamming on the guitar, and photography. She believes the key to joy in life is to surround yourself with positivity, express gratitude, and always choose love. You can follow her Instagram, @megmott!