We Founded One of the Nation’s Most Successful Anti-Bullying Non-Profits — The Be a Friend Project

By Ethan Katz

Being a part of the Be A Friend Project has been one of the most rewarding and wonderful experiences of my life. When I was in fifth grade, which is now almost ten years ago, I had the privilege of being a part of the original cast of a new anti-bullying musical It’s Easy, written by January Akselrad and Jennifer Young. It’s Easy was the first show I had done outside of little performances through my elementary school drama club — on a stage, with real costumes and everything. I remember we all really wanted to go record the music, since we were the original cast, so we made a kickstarter and ultimately were able to raise enough money to go to a recording studio and make a CD of all the original music! It was such an amazing and memorable experience, especially for someone like me who had never done a real show before.

At the end of the process, a bunch of my fellow cast members wanted to continue building the community we had built over the course of the rehearsal process, and wanted to continue working on doing good and keeping with the message of the show. From what I can remember, we voiced this desire to continue working on the anti-bullying message of the show to January and Jennifer, and a few months after the show closed, we all had dinner and discussed what we could do to further the incredibly important anti-bullying message of It’s Easy. We settled on a letter writing program, where we could all safely send letters of support, encouragement, and solidarity to kids who were experiencing bullying across the United States.

The primary focus of the Be A Friend Project is the “friend mail” program, the letter writing program I had the privilege to help dream up in 2015. Every month or every couple of months, a new person is selected to be that month’s friend mail recipient. Everyone involved, from Ambassadors and school clubs to people who have just heard about the Be A Friend Project for the first time moments before, write letters of support and friendship, to show the friend mail recipient that they are not alone. It’s an incredible program, and most amazingly, at its heart, it’s kid-led and kid-supported.

One core way in which the Be A Friend Project is led by kids, for kids, is the teen board. I was given the opportunity to join the teen board as a founding member in 2021. As a teen board member, we had quarterly zoom meetings to discuss what was going well, what we could improve on, and other various special events/topics. One really special thing we were able to accomplish as a board was to organize a walkathon this past summer. We spent multiple meetings going back and forth on logistics and details and in the end it was a huge success. Having recently turned twenty, I have now “aged on” from this board, but I feel so lucky to have been a part of it for the past couple of years, and I cannot wait to see how it continues to grow.

It has been amazing for me, as an original cast member and someone who has been with the Be A Friend Project since its inception, to watch it grow. I will never forget when I got an email in 2017 from Jennifer telling me that It’s Easy was being produced again, professionally. I went to one of the shows, and it was so rewarding to see how much the show had changed, and to see others be able to now embody the story that had changed my life only two years earlier.

The Be A Friend Project has grown in unbelievable ways since its humble beginnings in 2015. For example, I vividly remember talking about the potential of staying in touch with people we were writing letters to, so that any friend mail they received didn’t feel like a one-off, but a genuine connection from a person that truly cared about them. We quickly realized, in order to ensure everyone’s safety, and that the project was reaching its fullest and best potential, that it was important to make sure all letters were appropriate and did not make anyone feel bad. From the beginning, there were guidelines in place to make sure all language was appropriate and inclusive, and ensured everyone felt safe and happy while reading their letters.

One of the most amazing things I have had the pleasure of being a part of and witnessing happen as a member of the Be A Friend Project happened this October, when the Be A Friend Project had the honor of receiving The Spirit of Matthew Award this year. I was unfortunately unable to attend the gala, but being able to have been a part of this incredible project for almost half my life has been nothing short of life-changing, and it is amazing to watch the project change and grow so much over the past nine years. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have been even a small part of such a beautiful project, and hope to only continue to be a part of making the world a better, kinder place.

About the Series:

The Be a Friend Project was founded in 2015. It is non-profit organization that provides support to youth who are experiencing bullying across the nation. Through a partnership with The Matthew Shepard Foundation, the Be a Friend Project will have a recurring series on Matthew’s Place to highlight members of the organization.

About the Author:

Ethan Katz is second year at Oberlin College in Oberlin, OH, where he is studying creative writing & theater. He is grateful to have been introduced to the opportunity to write for Matthew’s Place through the Be a Friend Project.