I started thinking about getting an MBA long before I had my son. I was unhappy with my career progression at the time and knew it was time to move on. I took my time researching because it was a big decision. My husband was also going through a transition period which led us to move from New York City to Washington, DC. Shortly after our move, we found out I was pregnant.

After I gave birth to my son, I realized that I could not tell my son to pursue his dreams when I was postponing mine. So, I decided to make the commitment and apply to business school.

Prior to my MBA program, I worked full-time at a boutique federal consulting firm. I was able to balance work with being a wife and mom. I thought this would set me up well for when I entered my program. But, this was not the case for me.

I had a tough time my first semester in business school. I read articles on how women were able to do it all and I thought to myself, “what am I doing wrong?”.

My first semester was full of guilt. I felt guilty when I had late classes and missed bedtime, and when I had early morning classes and left the house before my son was awake. I felt guilty because I thought my wonderful and supportive husband was taking on too much. He had his plate full at work and was now leaving work early or coming in late to accommodate my schedule.

And, I also felt guilty about not being a fully engaged member of my program. A big part of business school is networking and I felt that I was dropping the ball on an important part of my MBA experience. I was torn and overwhelmed.

I entered the program with a game plan. I had no control over my first semester schedule because classes were set for me by Smith. Since I knew my schedule ahead of time, I outlined how I would approach my semester. I decided that I would stay late on campus two days per week. I would be upfront with my classmates about my schedule limitations and I try to make every Thursday social on campus so I could interact with my classmates outside of the classroom. I discussed this with my husband and felt good about my plan before starting classes.

The reality was that, although I mostly stuck with this plan, I didn’t feel like it was working for me. Business school is full of events — social, educational, or company information sessions during the first semester — and I felt I wasn’t taking advantage of many of those opportunities. I would go to Smith’s Thursday socials where both first years and second years would come together to toast the end of the week (we have no classes on Friday), but would leave early even though I knew my son would be sleeping by the time I got home. I would limit other evening events, so that I didn’t feel like I was neglecting my mom duties.

I reached out to a Smith MBA Mama alumnae who had kids during her program. She detailed how she managed the two years, offering tips on how I should approach the program. What struck me the most was that her time management system was very similar to how I had set up my plan. At the end of the conversation she said to me, “It sounds like you have the right approach, you just have to give yourself permission to enjoy the experience.” This is something I was struggling with and hearing it from another mom was reassuring. I had a great support system with my husband who was willing to leave work early and care for our son when I stayed on campus late. My classmates were aware of my schedule limitations and would accommodate me whenever possible. And, my son would smile and want to play with me when I picked him up from the nanny share or when I got home.

Now, it was up to me to enjoy the experience and not feel bad for wanting to be an engaged member of my Smith community.

I still sometimes struggle with this, but I’m learning that I don’t need to be at every event or feel bad about not being there because I prefer to hang out at home with my son and husband. Or that I don’t need to rush home when I stay late on campus because my son will be sleeping and my husband would want me to stay and have fun.

But most of all, I have learned that it’s okay to have a tough time and admit that you are overwhelmed. Being a mom in an MBA program is not easy, but once you figure out what works for you, it’s totally doable.