Choosing the “Gain Frame”
On Columbus Day weekend, stuck on a bus in transit to NYC, I realized that, in the 6 weeks since starting my MBA program at HBS, I’ve not truly h̶a̶d̶ taken the time to truly reflect on my experiences here.
This has been one of the more challenging months of my life.
Now, before expounding further, let me say how aware I am of how fortunate and blessed I am to be here.
Sadly, I’ll admit that I’ve sometimes lost sight of this.
Why is this? Why does this happen?
An analogy I frequently hear here is that the experience feels like “drinking from a firehose.” The classes (in both regularity and rigour) are grueling (unsurprisingly, because, Harvard), the discussions exhausting. Each day of classes requires hours of preparation, and the case method requires you to be an active participant in each class; half of one’s grade is based on your ability to present / defend your conclusions to a group of 90+ intelligent peers. The work doesn’t stop once classes are over, and FOMO abounds: there is always something to do, be it club activities, untapped networking opportunities, or industry/career panels.
Case preparation for academics aside, we’ve also broached challenging topics — to be expected; after all, we are being trained to become effective, well-rounded leaders. That being said, the core benefit of the case method is also its drawback; it requires students to be comfortable with being vulnerable (and to be vulnerable is to risk being criticized, wounded, hurt).
Being someone who is usually quite open and outspoken, I suppose it was inevitable that this would happen. When the opportunity arose to share my personal experiences in a discussion centered on race, it wasn’t taken well by one of my peers, prompting a very uncomfortable and upsetting conversation about my character.
I’ve had several personal wins since then, yet I still find it difficult to shake off this negative experience.
Knowing full well that my wins have outweighed my setbacks, why has it been mentally harder to convert from a focus on the losses and challenges to the gains and personal growth?
Serendipitously, I came across a TED talk on this exact topic. Alison Ledgerwood, a social psychologist at UC Davis, revealed that this is a common phenomenon: our view of the world tends to tilt towards the negative.
She began by introducing the concept of the “gain frame” vs. the “loss frame” — a reframing of the archetypal “glass half full” vs. “glass half empty.” What was interesting about her research is that she went one step further, studying how easily people were able to switch from the gain frame to the loss frame (and vice versa); she found that:
While people had no trouble switching from gain to loss, participants were unable to shift in the opposite direction. They remained ‘stuck’ in the loss frame.
While there is no quick fix, this can be addressed; one has to work on the upside. The TED Talk ends with Ledgerwood suggesting that her audience takes the time to recap and rehearse good news — be it writing for a few minutes each day, or sharing your good news with your peers.
So, let me make the effort to see the upside.
Let me work towards being thankful for the inspiring people — both students and faculty — I’ve met since I’ve been here (some of whom have inspired me to write more, reflect more, appreciate more).
Let me focus on the opportunities, professors and moguls to which I’ve had access already — from the Managing Director of the IMF, to the CEO of Shea Moisture — and how a year ago this week, I’d only just opened an email from HBS inviting me to interview, doubtful as to whether I would get this far.
Let me be thankful for the support network that has carried me whenever I’ve doubted myself, and how blessed I am to have a partner whose daily wakeup calls, random acts of kindness, and words of reassurance give me strength when I most need it.
