Book Summary — The Power of Moments
Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact
Absolutely love this book. As I’m really into Behavioural Psychology and experiences — this kind of stuff really makes me think.
How can you get the most out of life?
Such a deep question, but if you think back all / most cherished memories are man-made moments of ups and downs. Take your life in your own hands and consciously create moments.
1 paragraph summary:
We can be the designers of moments that deliver elevation and insight and pride and connection. These extraordinary minutes and hours and days — they are what make life meaningful.
Intro
Identify Moments
- Duration Neglect — forget or ignore the length of the experience
- Peaks — high points, matter more for long experiences
- Peak-end Rule — become more relevant for short experiences
- Transitions — beginnings and endings
The surprise about great service is mostly forgettable and occasionally remarkable.
Defining moments are created from one or more of the four elements:
- Elevation — memorable delight
- Insight — understanding of ourselves or the world
- Pride — moments of achievement or courage
- Connection — when we share them with others
Create Moments
Some examples of moments:
- Rituals / Fresh Starts
- Transitions — promotion, first days, end of projects
- Milestones — birthdays, anniversaries, 10k steps, can be anything
- Pits — low points can be filled with great experiences
You want to get two things wrong, have the customer bring those mistakes to your attention ,and then hustle like mad to fix those problems.
Structure of Moments
- Boost sensory appeal.
- Raise the stakes.
- Break the script.
Ideally, you have all three, but you need at least two.
Moments of Elevation
Moments of elevation are experiences that rise above the everyday. Times to be savored. Moments that make us feel engaged, joyful, amazed, motivated. They are peaks.
Most business try to fill the potholes and create complaint-free services, but it’s not about being complaint-free it’s about creating extraordinary service.
NPS — you work on improving the experience of the “neutral” not the “demoters”
Boost sensory appeal — “turning up the volume”, things look better, taste better, sound better or feel better than they usually do — music, flowers, clothes
Raise Stakes — add element of productive pressure: competition, game, performance, deadline, public commitment
Simple test: do people feel like they want to take pictures?
Beware the soul-sucking force of “reasonableness”. Otherwise you risk deflating your peaks. Speed bumps are reasonable. Mount Everest is not reasonable.
This is the great trap of life: One day rolls into the next, and a year goes by, and we still haven’t had the conversation we always meant to have and trip we always wanted to take. We walk a flatland that could have been a mountain range.
Break the Script — do things not by the rules, do the unexpected
- apply randomness — consistently enough that it matters, not so consistent that people get used to it
Tip to live longer life: Scare the hell our of yourself, regularly.
Reminiscine bump — we remember age 15–30 best, because of all the times we were pushed outside our comfort zone.
We feel most comfortable when things are certain, we feel most alive when they’re not.
Moments of Insight
Trip over Truth
Remember: Shit story in developed countries — CLTS
It happens quickly in a matter of seconds / minutes.
People discover the insights themselves, which makes them act on it.
Stretch for Insight
Place yourself in situations that expose us to failure.
The promise of stretching is not success, it’s learning. It’s self insight.
Mentor formula = (high standards + assurance) + (direction + support)
I have high expectation for you and i know you can meet them. So try this new challenge and if you fail, I’ll help you recover.
If you’re always in a life vest, you don’t know if you can swim. Sometimes you have to take the life vest off with someone still standing by to offer support and rescue — and say, “Let’s see what happens”.
Moments of Pride
The smallest interactions can lead to a Moment of Pride — it’s all about the message and a moment of recognition:
I saw what you did and I appreciate it.
Set yourself milestones to big goals — ask yourself:
- what is inherently motivating?
- what would be worth celebrating?
- what’s a hidden accomplishment worth surfacing?
We’re not stuck with just one finish line. By multiplying milestones, we transform a long, amorphous race into one with many intermediate “finish lines”. As we push through each one, we experience a burst of pride as well as a jolt of energy to charge toward the next one.
Practice Courage
Courage needs to be practiced — actually done in person not theory
A trick which does help though is setting yourself a plan:
If X happens than I will do Y
If you don’t do it — you will have that moment of shock and hate yourself in hindsight. By actively practicing what you want to do, you won’t go into the moment of shock and act instinctively.
It is hard to be courageous, but it’s easier when you’ve practiced, and when you stand up, others will join you.
Moments of Connection
- create shared memories — bring people together
We laugh to tie the group together. I’m with you. I’m part of the group.
If you want to be part of a group that bonds like cement, take on a really demanding task that’s deeply meaningful.
Purpose trumps passion.
Purpose is defined as the sense that you are contributing to others, that your work has broader meaning. Passion is the feeling of excitement or enthusiasm you have about your work.
Partner responsiveness is crucial:
- Understanding: My partner knows how I see myself and what’s important to me
- Validation: My partner respects who I am and what I want
- Caring: My partner takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs
In Sum
We can be the designers of moments that deliver elevation and insight and pride and connection. These extraordinary minutes and hours and days — they are what make life meaningful.
And they are ours to create.
👇My Newsletter — SUBSCRIBE HERE👇
