Anger Management: Simple Tips and Techniques!

Anger is a human emotion. It is completely normal to feel angry sometimes. As per some experts, anger is not only a psychological reaction but it also has physiological responses. When you get angry, your blood pressure and heart rate increases. Also, the levels of your hormones increase that are responsible for raising the rate of breathing, blood circulation, and carbohydrate metabolism (thus energy level) and stimulate muscle exertion.

Feeling angry is not a problem as discussed early, however, it is important to deal with these feelings of fury to avoid losing control. There are various methods to prevent yourself from getting into a fight or getting violent or offensive when you get angry.

Train yourself with these techniques, perhaps you can utilize them when you get angry and start losing grip on your anger. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

Tips to manage your anger when you experience it and also in the long run:

1. Keep a journal and list the incidences when you get angry

List the things that spoil your mood and make you angry. If you are aware of the things that frustrate you, it may be best to avoid them or do things in a different way when you confront them.

2. Take a break and think of something else

Take a break, meaning step-away from that awkward situation that has put you off. If such a situation arises where you feel you are going to lose control or going to fume, then just walk away from that place. Excuse yourself from the people around you and go back to them in sometime and discuss the issue, once you calm down.
You can even use humor to avoid losing control on your anger.

3. Take deep breaths

Try deep breathing before you react. Take 3–5 deep and slow breaths. Deep breathing provides more oxygen to your tissues, organs and muscles and help relax them.

4. Talk to yourself. No-one knows you better than you!

Tell yourself you can deal with the situation that has arose. This will have a positive effect on you and may help you calm down. Talk to yourself and boost your confidence to prevent reacting in a negative manner. Here are some statements that you could use to handle the situation and relax yourself.

Try something like “ come-on, you can handle this easily” or “take it easy” or “take a chill pill and relax!” Or ‘ I have to control my emotions and come out with a solution, instead”. Or “My yelling is not going to resolve the issue” Or “No problem is as important as my health, so calm down!” This really helps!

Along with including optimism in your attitude, avoiding pessimism is as essential. Hence, avoid statements such as “I hate her” Or “He gets on to my nerves” Or “why he always have to be like this?!” Or “ I can’t stand a certain person or his/her attitude” etc.

5. Use your Imagination

If you face a situation where you know you may want to react furiously, (take a break, and picture yourself in another situation where you are very happy). It can be any scenario which you have already faced or dream of, where in you are really very happy!
Just imagine anything, right from relaxing on a green lush lawn with a pleasant weather, or having fun with your friends/family, playing with your kids or enjoying a dance or swimming or relaxing on a beach looking at the lovely waves or just reach on top of the mountain and appreciating the scenic beauty!
This will again help you calm down from the immediate ferocious mood.

6. Meditation and other stress relieving techniques

Meditation helps you relax and reduce stress. If the your anger has arose due to stress at work or personal problems definitely, this technique will help you calm down and help you manage your anger in the long term.

Other techniques are yoga, tai-chi, breathing exercises, listening to soothing music etc.

7. Physical Activity

Physical activity or exercise also helps you manage anger which is due to stress.
If you feel your anger is getting amplified, go for a quick brisk walk or jog. If you want you can hit the gym or go to a garden or do some physical activity at home itself. Also doing any enjoyable or favourite activity such as dancing, playing any sport of your choice, playing pool, table tennis etc. helps in a big way!
Physical activity release feel good hormones and improves your mood. Some activities as described above also help you loosen up and improves mood thus help you cope up with the anger.

8. Forgiveness is the key

Forgiveness is a decision to release bitterness and let go of the idea of retaliation.

It is very easy to blame others, especially in the heat of the moment. But sometimes you need to analyze the situation and think “was it my fault, as well?”, even if it’s not your fault, forgiveness proves to be a great tool to avoid fights and getting angry.

To learn from the situation and to keep healthy relations with the person who has made you angry (at that particular moment), try to forgive that person. It surely works!

9. Stay away from harsh words and taking control of the situation all-the-time!

Even if you are angry, avoid using such words that will hurt others badly. Sometimes it may happen that you say something that you may regret later. But then front of you damage is already done. Hence choose words wisely.
Allow the person in front of you explain his side of the story as well. May be, you can agree to what he has to say or understand the odds he/she had to face and hence an unwanted moment of anger can be prevented!

You may then express your anger or concern in a very practical, clear and effective way without a fight or raising your voice or using harsh words.
Somehow if the conflict between you and other person or people is not getting resolved even after a healthy discussion you can always agree to disagree to prevent hostility and unnecessary flare!

10. Ask for help

Talk to your friends or family members about any stressful situations or ask them how would they have reacted in such a situation. The ultimate decision is always yours to take but sharing your thoughts help release tension in your mind.

Also, if your anger is going way out of control and you fume up very badly each and every time or you experience feelings of getting violent or unreasonable in such situations, please seek for professional help.

You have to decide for yourself the threshold and accordingly never hesitate to ask for professional help and visit a specialist or psychologist.

References:

https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control

https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/advances

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/anger-management-tips

https://www.academia.edu/37697815/Resolving_Conflicts_without_Anger