The Baby Whisperer: A Mother Baby Nurse’s Secrets
Most of my years as a Mother Baby nurse have taken place at night, when exhausted moms want and need sleep. Often times, new moms are too nervous to sleep; afraid they’ll miss something or be seen as inept. These moms tend to avoid asking for help or wouldn’t know where to begin if they tried. This is where I come in. I check on my new moms frequently. At first, I just observe and let them do as much as they feel comfortable with. When I see the struggle start, that is when I offer tips. I wait for that overwhelmed look — that’s the signal they want to ask for help before stepping in. I slowly show mom and her support person how I swaddle and why it’s better to swaddle snug, not loose.
I explain that when I swaddle baby, the baby feels secure and those newborn reflexes aren’t jolting them awake. I am also asking mom about how comfortable she is with feeding — however she chooses to do so. Mom shouldn’t be in pain and she shouldn’t be worried about producing enough (for the first 24 hours, for sure); if it’s bottle feeding, how much baby should be taking and how often — more or less could lead to fussiness. I am happy to explain to her as many times as it takes about what is normal and expected for infants during those first few days. Those first few days are physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. Add medications and a strange environment on top of everything else. It’s unrealistic to expect to get everything right the first time as a new parent. Not everything is black and white/right and wrong, anyhow. It’s a steep learning curve; steeper when you’re sleep deprived and physically spent.
I can’t count how many times new moms have felt completely defeated when they feel their baby “likes” me better. I can assure you, infants want their own mothers over all others. My role, is to not be exhausted and help you over those recovery nights. True, I may be able to swaddle a baby so that it sleeps for three uninterrupted hours, get baby to eat better, to burp, pee or poop, or stop crying, but I am definitely not that newborn’s mother. By the end of my shift, I am hoping that moms feels a little more confident and supported in her new role and her baby feels secure having all their needs met, too. Mother Baby and Nursery nurses are often labeled as “Baby Whisperers” and we kind of are, but it’s our ultimate goal to make all our mom’s AND their support person “Baby Whisperers”, also. You should also know, I, the author, was a complete mess when I had my first baby and felt exactly the same way.
