Gods of Egypt
My worst movie of 2016
Gods of Egypt tells the story of Egypt in a time when the gods dwelled amongst men. We start off in Egypt, where a thousand years of peace has brought so much prosperity to the land under the rule of Osiris (Bryan Brown). Having ruled long enough, Osiris wishes to pass the crown to his son Horace (Game of Thrones star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) but they are betrayed by Osiris’s brother; Seth (Gerald Butler) who feels he has been wronged and wants the throne for himself.
What follows is two hours of mediocre cinema and you have to wonder who thought making this film this way was a good idea in the first place.
First off, this is Egypt meaning that it is set in Africa; a land filled with diverse talent. Yet, I see English, Australian, French and American actors playing the titular roles with their bourgeois accent. Yet I’m supposed to believe that this is ancient Egypt? In a setting before a time when civilization was still taking baby steps?
It feels like they (the film makers) weren’t even trying and were of the opinion that with enough known names, the movie would make a killing at the box office. Other than Geoffrey Rush, Gerald Butler and maybe Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) the other names are mostly unknown or have appeared mainly on the small screen. There’s no defined box office draw here, so what gives?
Secondly, how did they get Geoffrey Rush to do this in the first place? Not that it’s a bad thing but did he actually read the script and thought this was okay?
Thirdly, while no one can say that these gods were human, does transforming into mechanical creatures make them more believable? Truth is that if this movie had been anywhere near good, a lot of persons may have been able to overlook the transformations.
It had so much potential truly but the terrible special effects and fight sequences leave so much to be desired. They are terrible, unimaginably bad and very very distracting. The fight sequences are so cut and join (and done horribly) that you’d have to wonder what the crew of Flickering Myths would say about them. Not very nice things I can assure you.
I can’t say anything redeeming about this movie. Well…no really I can’t. It’s just that bad and as I write this, I have a headache from having seen this film. You ask why I saw it? Well let’s just say I had to. I had to see for myself if a movie based on Egyptian mythology could really be that bad.
The critics sure got this one right.
If you enjoyed it, please tell me how and why. After 1 hour and 14 minutes into it, I wish I could have stopped but alas I had to see this to the bitter end and it was by no means an easy task.
Add to the fact that it was made in the same year as Jungle Book and the other big budget CGI heavy movies (Rogue One; A Star Wars Story being just one example), you have to wonder who edited this movie and sat through post production and thought they had a masterpiece on their hands.
There’s so much lore that can be taken from ancient Egypt and made into a truly epic movie. Sadly, this is not it. Not even by a long shot.
