Imaginative Actor Bios Could Make Us All Jealous

Bios are always a work in progress

I admit that I am always updating mine. During my Internet travels, I’ll happen upon a blog or a profile that leaps off the page at me. Then I’ll jump into LinkedIn and re-craft my profile yet again.

It’s always good to keep your information fresh.

WikiHow has a good checklist to consider when penning a professional biography. Your purpose and claim to fame should be secondary to your name — full name, please, so people know who the hell you are.

There is no end to Googling a top 10 list of perfect bios. Some say to practice on Twitter. Why? Short, sweet, and direct to the point.

What’s the big deal about writing a good bio?

There is so much coming at us on the Internet that we need to be able to weed out people in a quick and efficient way. How do we do that? By assessing someone’s bio or tagline. It determines whether or not we open the profile or connect.

It’s okay to be funny and cute, but if the viewer can’t determine who you are, many will pass you by, no matter how skilled and famous you are.

Even so, funny and cute for someone who declares their profession to be an actor could mean he or she can write the most kickass bio ever. I’ve been blessed to witness a couple gems on Twitter, although offhand I must declare that I can’t remember who they are. But their bios were enough to have me thinking about this for a long time.

Aside from the no-nonsense portrait on IMDb, how great would it be to scroll deeper into an actor’s LinkedIn profile to their list of experience, where for most people, that would be the companies and positions they worked over the years. For an actor/actress, I’d like to see their roles as their positions.

So are you ready for some mindless fun? The movie/television show is in brackets only as a reminder to you, the reader. Go ahead and check out the trailers on YouTube.

Brad Pitt: Actor, Producer, Co-Founder of Plan B (production company)

1991: Bank robber with a unique flair for getting people to give him money. (Thelma & Louise)

1993: Serial killer who traveled across the country with a writer who was gathering research for his book on serial killers. (Kalifornia)

1994: Vampire that didn’t like to taste people in an effort to keep from bringing them over to the other side. (Interview with the Vampire)

1995: Hot shot newbie detective who was gung ho about closing cases. (Se7en)

2005: Assassin who was given the unpleasant assignment of killing his own wife. (Mr. & Mrs. Smith)

Denzel Washington: Actor, Producer

1987: South African activist and leader who rubbed authorities the wrong way. (Cry Freedom)

1989: A fearless private in a Civil War regiment. (Glory)

1993: Reporter who investigated a conspiracy and was challenged every step of the way. (The Pelican Brief)

1999: Boxer who spent 20 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. (The Hurricane)

Jada Pinkett Smith: Actress, Producer, Writer

1995: Recently released convict who joined the war of good versus evil. (Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight)

1998: A hard-to-get woman who played the field. (Woo)

2003: Captain, pilot, and weapons expert. (The Matrix)

2014 to 2017: Nightclub owner and crime boss who took out her own eye to prove she could not be intimidated. (Gotham)

Eva Longoria: Actress, Producer, Director

2001 to 2003: Mentally ill woman who tried to kill her husband’s ex. (The Young and the Restless)

2004 to 2012: Bored housewife and former model who found herself in a riches to rags story. (Desperate Housewives)

2008: Ghost who haunted her fiance’s new girlfriend to try and scare her away from a relationship. (Over Her Dead Body)

2015 to 2017: Successful soap opera star who had to cope with her ex-husband being added to show. (Telenovela)

Benicio Del Toro: Actor, Producer, Director

2000: Police officer, informant who worked to take down a drug cartel. (Traffic)

2007: Heroin addict who dealt with the fallout from his best friend’s death. (Things We Lost in the Fire)

2008: Revolutionary, guerrilla leader who stemmed as a key figure during Cuba’s revolution. (Che)

2014: Artifacts collector who predicted an impending catastrophe in the universe and feverishly collected items to preserve them. (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Dev Patel: Actor, Producer

2007 to 2008: Awkward Muslim teenager who hung out with his friends. (Skins)

2008: Homeless kid turned television contestant and media sensation. (Slumdog Millionaire)

2011: Socially awkward hotel manager of the most exclusive hotel in all of India. (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)

2012 to 2014: Blogger and electronic media expert whose was able to work with a colleague who was difficult and controversial. (The Newsroom)

2015: Mathematician with a unwavering quest for knowledge who also pioneered mathematical theories. (The Man Who Knew Infinity)

Shohreh Aghdashloo: Actress, Producer

2007: Doctor with the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. (Grey’s Anatomy)

2008: Grieving mother from a remote male-controlled community whose daughter was mercilessly killed by her neighbors. (The Stoning of Soraya M)

2012 to 2013: Queen of the Schwarzwald Gypsies (Grimm)

2016: High Command of the Federation (Star Trek Beyond)

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Debbie Elicksen is a digital publicist, writer, and marketing and transmedia strategist. She helps companies and entrepreneurs learn how to reinvent, promote, and grow their business using the free tools readily available. She has over 20 years of direct media experience: TV, print, radio, and Internet; is a former sportswriter; and has written and published 14 books. @bookpublish101