Tell me i’m pretty
Beauty standards suck. They are a way for people to compare themselves to each other but through one’s physical appearance and are some of the easiest and most devastating ways to do so. The most interesting aspect of this is the idea that beauty standards exist on different spectrums in relation to one’s race.
Due to the ongoing challenges that different races have with representation in the fashion, and beauty industries the same struggles are echoed in everyday life. Recently I attended an event in which 50 people (the majority of which were in greek life) lived in one house and all had to get ready for a formal dinner. Of course it was highly noticeable that the women would start getting ready before the men but with even further investigation you could find that the different racial groups all took different times to get ready.
For some background everyone was set to leave the house at 7:30 and the earliest that a group of people started getting ready was 3:00 pm. This group sat in a common area for over an hour while upwards of 40 people passed them by as they curled their hair and perfected their winged eye liner. This was the group of girls not in greek life but the dates of fraternity men, all three were asian and all three sat in a circle doing their make up not worrying about their onlookers.
The next group to get ready were the black girls they started to get ready at 5:00pm with much critique from their more vocal dates. I overheard a couple discussing that she had to get ready early because of her hair. While she was not in a sorority, I also fell into this category. As I walked into my bathroom to start getting ready, my boyfriend asked why I was getting ready so early as we had over 2 hours before we had to leave. In reply, I said “because I’m a girl” and he got quiet. This is the beauty standard that we hold ourselves to as girls for other girls in my opinion. Yes it’s great to have the person you love say that you look “pretty” or even “beautiful” but you have reached the ultimate level of beauty if a girl compliments your eyebrows or even you hair.
When reflecting on this, I often challenge who am I actually dressing nice for, who I am I buying expensive make up for. Why do beauty standards exist and why do I continue to this but in all honesty it is what women from a young age are trained to do. We are taught that to have makeup on and our hair perfect is the way to put our best foot forward. It is the way to become friends with the best people, get the best boyfriends and to make it look like you have your sh*t together. But again at what cost, sorority beauty standards continue to reflect the necessity of “putting your best self forward” but mainly through modifications and self hate. Mollie Hawkins explores this issue even more in her hellogiggles.com piece — “Sorority beauty standards are worse than we thought.”
Take the time to think of how much influence your words have on others and how much a compliment not based on physical appearance could impact someone.
