How To Love
Love is one of the most used words in society, and yet I believe that we have no clear understanding of what is it. But why it is important to understand love? Well because if we know what it is properly then we can be pretty good lovers to our beloved and most importantly to ourselves. Let’s try to figure out what is love together in this article.
We have a lot of things that influence our understanding of love. From Some opera when Hot Latina starts to make a huge tantrum because her beloved cheated on her, to dramatic theater plays when Romeo and Juliet choose to die. After all, they cannot be together, and finally some more specific examples. The movie which was in cinema lately “After Everything” portrays sort of I would say extremely hot-headed and toxic relationship between lovers. If we talk about love, which is represented by culture, it is all about emotions and going crazy hot. Sometimes completely forget what is rational mind. But the question of how long something like that can survive? And do we need constant power games with our beloved for the sake of making drama by following all these crazy examples? Well, I believe it causes more suffering than pleasure in the long term…..
As one of my favorite sitcom characters, Rick said: “It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage.” And I believe we have all been at the moment we fell in love. And then we experience this awesome emotional height I would say almost brain-dead bliss and the need to be constantly with your partner no matter what. This I would not call love someone but completely drowned in love. To be real, this state is biological brains act similarly to cocaine. It is high, and I believe the media plays with this -making all these dramatic examples. Then in everyday life, we try to be in constant bliss of pleasure by making useless melodramatic performances in a stage of our relationship. I will use bad words of this state…. I believe trying to catch constant height is addiction and nothing more….. It is never healthy in the long term.
But then we go to the question of most of the culture is making show business of love by making dramatic acts and examples. Where we can find good examples of so-called true love? The answer is simple, the best examples of love can be found between a parent and a child. I know there are a lot of toxic relationships between parents and children, but let’s focus on good ones. What is special in this sort of family love?
It is less conditional — usually in a partner relationship at least most toxic or melodramatically explosive we do to our partner something just because we want to get something in return in an instant. If this process is not patient. When the outcome is undesired, the tantrum and drama start at the instant. For example. People do not want to have sex…… The answer to that is, “You do not love me…. We need to break up.” I am not saying that parent and child relationships are completely unconditional. But it is more patient. For example, if we don’t like the outcome we try multiple times and are sort of aware of what the other person feels, and we take more responsibility for that.
Respectable and Independent — Well, I will talk about this more from the parent side. Healthy parents know that the happiness and well-being of the household depend on themselves. Sometimes in a relationship between partners, we are so upset with being together. Like for example holding hands all the time, and doing everything together that we forget about our own needs. Pardon me if I am wrong, but I never saw a couple that had identical needs. Giving space and not taking it personally is a milestone for a relationship. And it is very important to grow and help partners grow.
You are okay by letting go — no parent expects that a child will be with them forever. But if a parent blames a child for going for its own life. Well, it is sadly overreached parent which makes burden for a child. You see, same goes with partners. We have amazing possibilities in life. For example, learn in other countries or go finally to a business trip. All of us live this life once. And not enjoying it because somebody saying “No, you are mine!” may sound romantic, but soon it will grow in resentment a hate towards a partner. Sometimes freedom of choice makes us appreciate the things in life, and the same goes for appreciating our partner. And yet, this could be one of the hardest points in this list.
Quality over quantity — I believe this is a universal rule in everything. Have time like a family. Go for the things you appreciate the most. Or something completely new. The things need to be well planned or at least enjoyed. Then more astounding things the family does together, the more you appreciate each other. For example, the question “How was your day in school or work?” Will not take the cake for multiple years in a row. Sadly, we need to add more spices to that. Something new or fresh like a boat trip or arts together. Because it is supposed to be something that makes you both grow. Because then the thing will be part of your personality. Something which you always will be grateful for.
Well, there could be always things to add to the list. And that’s completely alright. Especially about this complicated thing called love. Sadly I believe all over the place we have too many bad and twisted examples of what is love, and sometimes it could mess up our heads and make us unhappy because that type of love would not be the one we want. So I guess no matter what, always ask what is love to you…. And if you do not agree with my list, you always can add yours in the comments. Let’s figure out our love together! :)
With love and care!
Darian
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