Follow the Black Dog
A message for my fellow entry-level Designers.
I think at this point, I could write a book about the emotional roller coaster of being an entry-level Designer in New York City. One moment you are on top of the world and the next moment you are crying on a dirty street corner as you miss the last train out of the city. But I am working feverishly at becoming better. I am slowly but surely learning to swim in an ocean of designers far more talented than myself.
It has been difficult to remain positive in such uncertain times. I fear that I may forever live in my shitty, old, one-bedroom apartment. I may never get to experience the joys of owning a dishwasher or having sustained water temperature in my shower.
Today, a 72 degree Friday in February, I figured that I would take a much needed break from my computer screen after several weeks of working like a mad man. I went where any 25 year old, broke millennial living in Jersey would go — Asbury Park Beach.
“It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.”
― Alain de Botton, The Architecture of Happiness
When I first arrived, I felt it was a great decision. The smell of the ocean and the sound of seagulls in the dead of winter warmed my cold, Irish heart. However, just moments into my picturesque walk along the beach, I started to feel anxiety. I felt guilty about not focusing on my work and, worst of all, my phone was dying so I would not be able to respond to any emails.
As my mind raced, I heard something running up behind me — this ridiculously cute and friendly black dog. I looked for her owner and saw him far ahead in the distance. He gave a friendly wave, called for the dog, and continued walking.
While the dog seemed interested in me, she was completely independent and bursting at the seams with energy. You would be hard pressed to find a happier dog. Right after I took this picture, my phone died with a mile or so left until the end of the beach.
I had no choice but to follow the dog as it ran alongside me, be present, and take it all in. With not a worry in the world, the dog was in a state of euphoria. Every little thing about the beach peaked her curiosity and excitement, as it should. All I had cared about up until that moment was my stupid phone dying.
As I approached the end of the beach, I finally caught up with the owner. We had a great conversation and ended up walking all the way back together. As we talked, I found that he was a photographer, and that he too was also trying to make it in New York and is facing similar challenges.
His apartment was on the boardwalk and he was kind enough to offer me a cup of coffee. I accepted his offer. He showed me his photography and I showed him my design work. He is insanely talented and we are definitely going to collaborate and be friends for a long time.
The point of this story is not to go have coffee in a complete strangers apartment or to stare at cute dogs, but to be kind to yourself. Every once in a while, you have to walk away from the fear and anxiety and allow yourself to be present and LIVE — no matter what the conditions may be.
One day, when I reflect back on my life, I won’t remember the emails I didn’t get back to or that I had to wash each dish by hand. But I will remember the fleeting moments of happiness and finding comfort with complete strangers in a time of need. One day, it will all work itself out. As for now I choose to smile and follow the black dog.
