The Authenticity Disclaimer
“All you have to do is be yourself”
“Show up as you authentic self”
[Enter another bullshit phrase that we’ve all heard on repeat the last few years]
Well I shouldn’t say bullshit… its more like its not the full story and in my opinion this tweet-length inspiration does more harm than good. Let me explain.
What it truly means to be authentic
When people say “be authentic” its clearly coming with all the best intentions. They want to help with the dissonance that people feel (particularly people of color) between their “work selves” and their “real selves”. It’s the real life code-switching or putting on their “work voice” in order to process in their day to day jobs.
This dissonance by the way leads to all types of bad, gross things like stress, loss of purpose, etc. So by trying to minimize this effect, is a good thing right? … Well for some people.
For some, being their true authentic self means dressing, speaking, interacting with people in a way that that aren’t used to. Not an inherently bad thing… until the way that you’re dressing, speaking and interacting triggers someones fragility in a way that then causes some catastrophic impact to your career.
Because let’s be honest, most people in power are HELLA fragile. Fragile egos steeped in heavy narcism. So when that approaches someone who will no longer fit into a box … shit happens.
Let’s also briefly touch on how vulnerable it is to truly be authentic, particularly in the workplace. You’re actually showing your true self and opening up for criticism and bias, not at your work performance but literally at who you are as a human being.
Honest question : when has being vulnerable as a person of color in the workplace ever worked well for us?
Ok, maybe a leading question. There have been very visible people who have ascending the corporate ladder in ways that seem very authentic, and I can’t nor will speak for them. But I imagine that
(1) it wasn’t a breeze being authentic
(2) they probably had moments of authenticity but might not say its a fully consistent experience
(3) had some setbacks because of said authenticity, particularly if they are a woman of color.
The disclaimer*
Hence the need for a disclaimer, so that the people who do want to venture into that vulnerable place are prepared to what they will encounter.
So my friends, here are a few disclaimers/tips that you should be aware of a you navigate your journey with workplace authenticity.
A. Determine whether the organization is set up to support it
If there’s no one that you can point to that is different in some way, then I’ma say you may want to find another environment for you sis. I wouldn’t recommend trying to change the culture to support it, (1) that ain’t your job and (2) been there, done that and its a lot harder and soul crushing than it might seem.
B. Be ready for the fallout
Like I mentioned earlier in my rant, not everyone is going to be excited that you are feeling yourself in all its magically beauty. People are going to be triggered, they are going to feel defensive and they are going to be resentful. And this can come from ANYONE, not just the white males in the org.
And when I say be ready, I mean be ready for people to actively try and bring you down. This includes micromanaging, gaslighting, straight up lying. I’ve seen and experienced them all.
C. Take a break when needed
Being authentic is a vulnerable behavior and sometimes you need a break, a break from always speaking up, a break from always having the answer, a break from trying to save folks that don’t want to be saved. And thats ok, honestly that’s encouraged.
You can’t be in #fightmode 100% of the time, so give yourself some grace if one day when you’re engaged with a micro-aggression where someone calls you “articulate” and you don’t snap back at them. Your mental health and peacefulness is more important than any one person or situation.
But know that by showcasing your full self is making it easy for everyone else to do the same. You’re not fighting alone.
Want the full story and real life examples? Check out this and more on my channel Melanated Insights.
