How I’m Juggling Teaching and Parenting In The Post Pandemic Era
Finding equilibrium in work and personal life.
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The door to the classroom opened, and instead of a chalkboard or whiteboard that I was used to, a large wall-mounted screen projected the desktop from the computer I was supposed to use. This technological change was only a harbinger of what was to come. Moments ago, I had said goodbye to my daughter, who had said in return, “I love you, and I’ll miss you.” Like the students entering the classroom, I kept my phone on — so I could see the pictures my husband sent of my daughter. My mind and heart were divided, but I was determined to navigate it all, motherhood and work in a post pandemic era.
This past semester, returning to the classroom after a more than a decade long break, I have had to juggle teaching and parenting. At the end of this first semester, I am reflecting on my reintegration into academia and the evolving dynamics of parenting in the context of an extraordinary global backdrop.
A New Dance
In the aftermath of the pandemic, the intricate dance of learning to balance teaching and parenting has become a reality for me. I have returned to the writing classroom. This change, coupled with the ongoing experience of parenting a seven-year-old daughter, has caused both excitement and anxiety. The contradictory nature of these emotions is particularly pronounced in the wake of a post-pandemic global mental health crisis.
Like many people, I am learning to find balance in the aftermath of the pandemic, an unprecedented disruptor of normalcy. This unique period left an indelible mark on the lives of both parents and educators. As a professor and a homeschooling parent, the struggle to find equilibrium beyond the chaos has been profound.
Adapting is Hard
Personally, going back to teaching outside the home means there are missed opportunities to partake in joyful events, such as a Taylor Swift-themed library event (“Taylor Con”) that my seven-year-old daughter attended with her father and grandmother without me. Professionally, the joy I feel reviving my past career makes this pursuit of this balance worthwhile most of the time. But, I can’t help but miss the past seven years. I loved when my daughter and I would leisurely engage in creative projects, like art and science experiments. These open-ended hours are replaced by the constant pressure of juggling home and work life.
While trying to find that balance, I am now a professor navigating the changing academic landscape after a tumultuous time experienced globally. This time reflects a narrative of adaptation and resilience.
A Paradigm Shift
Mental health issues among students became a pressing concern for me like it never had been before. I found it was necessary to help bolster my students’ mental health by having them do activities such as selecting mental health buddies and reflecting on breaking free from the demands of perfectionism. To me, writing is not just about putting words on the page but growing as individuals. Unlike in the past, when my sole goal was to help my students become better communicators and critical thinkers, I want to provide a nurturing space for holistic growth in writing their lives.
Perhaps this change in emphasis in the writing classroom reflects how I have changed post-pandemic and after being a full-time stay-at-home parent. My now 23-year-old stepson was little when I was teaching years ago. I certainly didn’t spend as much time parenting him as I have with my daughter because she lived with us full-time, homeschooling and staying home during the pandemic.
I saw firsthand the mental health struggles of my 23-year-old, who spent some of his most formative teenage years isolated at home while going to college online as a result of the pandemic. It helped me understand why collaborative learning was essential to my current students. I recognized their struggles and, in turn, embraced a transformative approach.
A New Philosophy
My stepson’s experience during the pandemic influenced my understanding of global disruptions in mental health and collaborative learning. I saw the psychological effects of his isolated years while attending college online. It showed me the importance of fostering community among my current students. In turn, my teaching philosophy evolved by emphasizing creating an inclusive and supportive learning environment.
For example, I discovered I had to model critiques when having my students do peer reviews. Giving – and receiving – constructive criticism seemed almost an existential threat to them. On the other hand, I needed to foster my students’ interactions to overcome the barriers of digital disconnection. So, I increased and amplified collaborative writing practices, online and in person.
These students had much more advanced writing skills than the last generation I had taught, but this was coupled with a pervasive fear of perfection, manifested in various ways. For example, a social media project designed to harness technology creatively revealed a spectrum of reactions. Some embraced it immediately, while others felt paralyzed by the fear of others publicly reading their writing. Writing in our classroom showed students’ complex relationship with technology and their apprehension about public judgment.
I also faced personal challenges as well with the ever-present digital landscape. For example, I had to adapt to the technology of Learning Management System (LMS), even though I taught in person. The LMS Canvas streamlined the administrative aspects of teaching. It offered efficiency but sacrificed the intimacy of traditional grading methods. The benefits of managing courses, communicating with students, and grading assignments electronically were evident. However, I missed the personal touch of handwritten comments on physical papers.
Balancing Act
Navigating shifts in the classroom, those changes echoed into my personal life. The challenges of teaching blended with parenting complexities, striking a delicate balance. This equilibrium, crucial for a positive learning environment, also influenced our family life at home.
As a homeschooling parent, the balancing act took on a new dimension. More than when I stayed home with my daughter, my husband took on more parenting responsibilities. He is also a college professor who spent his twice weekly afternoons off with my daughter while I taught. He embraced being with our second-grader. They went on various adventures, such as trips to museums, parks, and libraries.
Their blossoming relationship brought a bittersweet blend of joy and FOMO. There was now a tension between spending joyful days off with my daughter and battling fatigue from teaching. Unlike in the past, I experienced a perpetual desire for engagement while needing self-care. The “mom guilt” is real.
Looking Ahead
The quest for balance continues into the next semester. This winter break, I will have the time to reflect, reconnect, and regroup. I plan on making tweaks to course structure and home life. I plan on building on my interactions with both my daughter and students. Despite the challenges of this first semester back teaching, I look forward to enjoying adventures with my family, having carved out time within our schedules to do so.
There are also more intellectual pursuits on the horizon. This next semester, I will be taking a graduate creative writing course and potentially teaching online writing courses at another university. This last semester has taught me that I need to be challenged intellectually while also embracing my identity as a mom.
I am attempting to balance teaching and parenting in this unprecedented time. There are the unique demands of education in the aftermath of the pandemic. There is also the desire to continue to nurture my relationship with my daughter. Learning to do both after years away from teaching is a formidable challenge. But parenting reminds me that the years go by quickly. This is a constant reminder of my need to have the strongest possible bond with my daughter while managing the responsibilities and opportunities I look forward to.
In the wake of this new union of teaching and parenting, I see how closely these roles are connected – it’s clear that my work life and home life are closely linked. What I’ve learned in the classroom and while parenting will continue to guide me. I realize I need to do more than find a balance; it’s about integrating both parts of my life. Like my students, I will write my life: an unfolding story of growth and connection. And maybe next year I can dance with my daughter at “Taylor Con.”
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