Giving Up Your World To Help Others Belong
I was at the age of 18 with just the clothes on my back standing in an alley wondering who I was. “You’re a man now” I was told by my mentor, a short tan brown preacher. I never knew I was a man because I did not have a father who instilled in me what I needed, but instead had every piece of hope and joy taken from me. If you come from a loving family who cares about you then that is great, but not everyone is that fortunate and that is ok. We are all dealt a deck of cards that we cannot change until a certain age.
This mentor took time to recognize what was missing in me. He could see that I reacted out of hurt instead of being grounded in the current situation. It was a struggle daily to have faith in myself and realize that the world was not out to hurt me like my past did. Since he had a similar past as a child, knowing that he made it just fine gave me the courage and conviction to press forward.
It was difficult to understand that someone cared about me. I learned to fill the need of belonging by accepting the situation and giving up the past little by little. I transitioned from living in the past to living in the moment. There was a positive influence in my life that rubbed off on me and showed me to look at the good and leave the rest. Knowing that there was a person who could love me like a son gave me the ability to see that I could love myself and eventually love others.
The need to belong is something every person has in common and each need varies in exigency. After my parents abandoned me, I remember the day when I stood in the alley directionless and begin to question what needs I need fulfilled in my life. Now 12 years later those needs have changed. I am asking what I need less and less and wondering what needs I am able to fill in the people’s lives around me. I am constantly asking myself, “How can I influence the people around me to make their lives more complete?” We seem to forget that caring about other people is a piece of our frail humanity that can make the difference in arriving at what we call success sooner.
We all have an inseparable purpose that we are supposed to give into, nurture, and grow. I no longer want to be successful, but influential. Success is just a bi-product of our purpose and it starts with learning and more learning. We will never stop learning until the day we die and even then I am sure we will continue to enhance our understanding of our existence by meeting our creator. Even though some of us are trying daily to be selfless, it is a battle to put ourselves at the bottom and put others above us. The challenge is real because many external factors teach us that nice people finish last. I believe and attest that selfish people finish last.
Do we really need a reminder to be selfless? There are plenty of opposing reminders to be selfish and on the take. If we could just quit trying to gain everything and maybe lose something of our-selves, we could see the hole that needs filled and fill it with love and acceptance. The love you show others will begin to grow vines on your heart that will bud the right purpose and healing for yourself and others. Love will cause you to give up your world and influence the world around you.
In Conclusion
My mentor sacrificed some of his life to be patient in teaching me the things I should have been taught, but was not. He realized that changing the life of another could have a ripple effect. Since then, I have learned that the more I give up of Stephen the more I can give out and see people’s lives changed.
