I have had many nicknames and pen names throughout my life, and have gained a few more over the last few years. Some I chose myself, and I use them to identify a side of me or fulfill a particular role like being an artist. Others though have been given to me by people that I care for in life. And those not only make me feel unique and special, but they carry the character of the relationship and define who I am in it even in their simplicity. They may not be anything out of the ordinary to others, but they are a term of endearment that defines the special connection between me and someone else.
That is why I love it when you call me señorita. Camila and I sure share that sentiment. It’s soft, sexy, sweet, and speaks to my roots and the raw parts of me, all the things that I could feel alive between us from the first day I met you. I still remember that cold night.
I wasn’t as lucky as Camila, whom this happened to in Miami on a day filled with hot air from summer rain. I was in New York City, on a cold night where you could still feel the wetness of the lingering snow being pulled into the air by the razing cars that drove by.
Meeting you that night was not something I expected to happen. I wasn’t even supposed to be at that party. We shook hands and said hello, but I don’t think we even knew our names before our bodies were intertwined, dancing for hours under the spotlight, close to one another becoming one.
It felt like ooh la la la, yeah.
From then on, my blood would rush through my being every time you called me señorita. It was as intoxicating as your touch. But we live in different realms and opposite dimensions, and it feels impossible to be together.
I wish I could pretend I didn't need ya,
but every touch is ooh-la-la-la
So we have tried to untwist the many levels of the “us” and be just friends.
You say we’re just friends.
But friends don’t know the way you taste, la-la-la.
I no longer know how to make it work. I’ve packed my bags with all the feelings and emotions that still lived with me and tried to go. More than once. They all say I should be running. And I genuinely wish it wasn't so damn hard to leave you. But just like when you call me señorita, I feel the pull, the sense of comfort and belonging next to you. And I know the feeling is mutual just how it feels for Shawn when he says:
You keep me coming for ya.
All along I’ve been coming for ya
And I hope it means something to you.
Call my name, I’ll be coming for ya
There’s just some things that never change. And never will.
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