The Tale of TWO Choices

“Near” miss life events, that change your perception

Having read about a friends traumatic, harrowing events during the 2004 Tsunami, it once again allowed me to access emotions and memories of past events in my life, which on the surface can be dismissed, but add emotion and things start falling into perspective.

I am going to jump back to 2001. Life was good, I had recently entered into the IT consultant industry, I was now married to my childhood sweetheart Joy, we had moved into our dream home a year earlier and we were looking forward to starting a family. I can remember thinking that I was finally moving forwards in my life having endured a less than successful decade, being able to go on holiday again and pretty much do what we wanted.

In May that year, events unfolded that prevented us from being in one of the most horrific terrorist attacks that the world had ever seen. Of course the events I am referring to were the terrorist attacks on the twin towers in New York. I had every intention that year of surprising Joy with a trip to New york for our wedding anniversary, which is the 12th September. I had it all planned, I had found the hotel, the flights, what trips we were going to do, which places we were going to visit, which of course included the twin towers. Being a laid back kind of guy, I hadn’t booked it, thinking there will always be a flight or hotel, but hopefully I would be able to execute my plan.

Being in IT around 2000 the dot com bubble burst and companies were shedding jobs and of course the first to go were the contract consultants, so I found myself with out a contract in May of that year. It took me 9 weeks to source another one, no biggie really as I was well paid and could absorb it. In that time though, it put our trip to New York out of reach and we didn’t go, I told Joy and we were both disappointed, but we just planned to go another time.

Fast forward to September and instead of our planned lavish trip to New York, we went to the lake district in the UK for a luxury week to celebrate our 3rd Wedding Anniversary. Not exactly the same, but as long as were together I was more than happy. We were heading there on the 11th, I was just finishing up at work, when we started getting reports of planes being flown into the twin towers in New York, it sounded too fantastic a story to believed, but as time went on, the true horror of what had happened unfolded.

I was actually shell shocked at the time, I just sat at my desk and stared at the screen, then my journey home was done in silence, the radio was on, but I couldn't hear it. I can remember at the time all I was thinking about was, we could have been in those towers? we would have definitely been in New York, but the towers? it was imagined but very real.

As I am typing this it is actually bringing back that same raw emotion, the feeling of what if, the feeling that we could have been there, caught up in the turmoil and pain and confusion. Our families would have been beside themselves with worry. I know it didn't happen, but it could easily have had.

I remember being in the hotel in the lakes, watching the news, reading the papers, absorbing the true horror of it all, thinking how lucky we were to be alive. I know that sounds incredible because I do not know what would have happened had we gone, but the possibility was there and at the time it felt real.

I do not think about it too much now, but if anybody starts talking about 9/11, the memory resurfaces as a reminder that life is precious and we should not waste one moment of it.

The next year in 2002, we went to a dream destination, the Maldives in the Indian ocean. My Sister and Husband had been on their honeymoon the year before and so we decided to go with them to see what all the fuss is about. It was beyond awesome, both me and my brother in law had learned to dive before we went out and let me tell you, the underwater world is just as fantastic as the paradise above it. It is the only holiday I have shed a tear when we had to leave, everything was perfect. So much so that my wife and I went back the following year in 2003, by ourselves this time. This time we tried a different island and it was still fantastic.

I remember thinking, We have to come for Christmas next year and go for 3 weeks this time and we should go back with my Sister and husband since they missed out this time. The plan was set, December 2004 we would head back again. Reluctantly we had to head for home and again a tear was in my eye. What a powerful thing to be so emotionally attached to a holiday, which was just pure paradise.

2004 and we were still planning our trip, early stages, but the intention was there. However, to our complete Joy, Joy (my wife) became pregnant. We were so happy, because we had been trying for a number of years and had been told we would never naturally conceive. We were quite simply overjoyed. The Maldives wasn't completely out of the question as Sam was due to Arrive in September of that year. However, Joy’s pregnancy was far from smooth, in fact it was bad enough for her to spend the last 5 months of it in hospital. So any thought of being away for Christmas had to be shelved. Of course there would always be other opportunities.

December 2004, Christmas Day came and went and of course on 26th December, news came through of the disaster in the Indian ocean, an undersea earthquake causing a tsunami with devastating consequences to so many people.

This was the second time we had averted life threatening events. I know they were not near misses, we hadn't just been to the places or that they were booked, but the intention had been there only for events to put us on a different path. I remember seeing an Island we had actually landed at the year before totally wiped out and reading the accounts of the diving staff at the other island we had visited were harrowing.

I remember on both occasions feeling immense sadness and my brain actually visualising us both there and what could have been, funny how your brain does that to process the information of what might of happened.

As I am typing this now and when I read my friend recounting his experience in Thailand during the Tsunami, all I could think about was my Family. Emotions being stirred about what is actually important in our lives.

Everyone wants to be successful. I know I do and I know I will be. Because my family are so important I can only ever succeed with the love I continually receive and their support is unequivocal.

This year has been a challenge for me and without their support I wouldn't be still be doing what I love, changing lives and planning to serve as many people I can in my lifetime, to make a difference.

I hope this story of two near misses allows you to realise that not all decisions are life and death and all problems have solutions it is about overcoming them through intent, persistence and determination, it is about finding the solutions and moving forwards.

Thanks for reading

take care

Dean

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