Dictionary of the Tattooed Idiot
Here are the do’s and dont’s of inking!
Women are totally drawn to dudes with ink, but that doesn’t mean you should just go get a barbed wire band or some meaningless tribal tattoo on your upper arm. A new study has delved deeper into what women really think about men with tattoos, and confirmed that yes, fresh ink does help to catch the eyes of ladies, but not because they find it to be more attractive. Great news for unicorns ! Your best mate is the local tattooist.
People have their very own motivations for their tattoo, and different perceptions are attached with it.This i the reality;most “tats” are horrible, because most people have horrible taste;their decisions made on a bizarrely conservative basis.They worry about how what they get done is going to look when they’re older, which is antithetical to the philosophy that brought tattoos out of nomadic tribes and into the Western consciousness in the first place.Face it;everything about you looks terrible when you’re seventy, and if you disagree, you are nothing more than a gerontophile.
That said,here are some tips for unicorns.
It’s art,so,what the heck!
Well,that’s great;but you ain’t a cotton duck either.So use your common sense. Tattoos are not for the shallow people who cannot see beyond skin deep. You want to feel good about what it represents about you and you should be able to relate it to it by all means.A cracker with floral ink is Armageddon!
Rainbows are better off in the sky
Tattoos have existed for several thousand years; from the famous “ Iceman,” a 5,200-year-old frozen mummy, to today’s Maori.Sometimes plain, sometimes elaborate, always personal ,they have served as amulets, status symbols, declarations of love, signs of religious beliefs, adornments and even forms of punishment.But they were never color palettes!
When deciding what type of tattoo to get it is important to understand the differences between black and grey or color tattoos. Your skin tone, how much time you spend in the sun and tolerance all factor into which type will work best for you.
It perfectly makes sense when tattooed in black or grey shades;the base obviously being your skin color. Microscopic particles from tattoo ink can migrate into the body and wind up in lymph nodes, crucial hubs of the human immune system.
Besides carbon black, the second-most common ingredient used in tattoo inks is titanium dioxide, a white pigment also used in food additives, sunscreens and paints.The chemical has been associated with delayed healing, itching and skin irritation.No one knows the true impact of ink in a lymph node, but common sense would suggest that you don’t want ink in a lymph node! So,practice minimalism!
Forget tribal tattoos unless you are from the Elk valley
Tribal design tattoos make the wearer look like a warrior. And not everyone is a fighter.The only people who can get away with having tribal on their flesh are MMA fighters; you don’t wanna mock them simply because that is the smartest thing to do.
Your favorite's face or name
Sure,your girl could be the hottest blonde on the planet;and you have tattooed her name in Disney font;but may be that shouldn’t stop you from being an idiot. This particular form of idiot stamp is extremely common, and in both senses.If you want to honor someone with dignity ,your heart and soul is the safest repository.Else,use a locket,a ring,your phone’s wall paper;anything but a tatoo.
And the only thing worse than getting the name of a loved one as a tattoo is getting a portrait of their face done. There’s something profoundly creepy about seeing somebody walking around with their dead partner’s grinning visage.Stop it.
Fish Tattoos
So you got a fish friend on your arm! Sure you are afisher folk and the deaf murderer of sea kittens! Fish have become more than just a mainstay on our dinner plates;but they are better off where they belong. Koi fish have a very long history in Chinese and Japanese culture;and they are prominent in the work of Japanese tattoo artists because of a long-standing legend of how the fish become dragons.Now if you ain’t Japanese;or simply cant figure out how the fish turned into a dragon,stay away!Adopting another culture’s tropes as part of your personal expression is ridiculous.
“Inspiring” Quotes
Only God can judge you, huh? If you find yourself saying to others that only “God can judge you” then you probably are well aware that your life is kind of f**ked up or that the things you are doing are a little bit questionable.Having writing on you sucks, because people want to read it. Unless you enjoy people grabbing you and trying to read it–and they will just grab you–don’t get words tattooed on you.
And If you wanna be a real man,Get gutsy!
Heard of Sak Yant? Now this is the real deal.With geometric shapes and depictions of animals and gods, sak yant is as beautiful as it is painful to receive.These traditional Thai tattoos are engraved into the skin with a long metal spike or bamboo sharpened to a point.Do you think getting stabbed with a pointy steel rod for 15 minutes would hurt? Yes, it hurts.The needle is dipped into ink and repeatedly jabbed through your flesh by hand.Monks will often choose a sacred design as well as the location of your tattoo based on your aura.Grab your balls and man up if you are ready to carve the flesh.
You don’t cry because of the pain, you cry because of the magic.
We ain’t got tattoo supplies;but we definitely got some in grooming.You should take a look.
