Abusive People Do Not Understand How Much Work They Cause in Their Victims’ Lives
Two Minutes of Trauma can Create a Lifetime of Work
I am in my 50’s, and I still have to do work, every single day, to stay mentally well. I may not work as hard as I once had to, but I still have to remind myself daily that I am in a safe place, and that I have freedom from abusive people.
My trauma was “gifted” to me as a child, and again, in my teens. As an adult, I found myself falling into a pattern of not being able to stay safely away from mental abuse. I got lazy, in my 40’s, and stopped doing the important work that I learned in the past, resulting in finding another abuser. That’s on me. It wasn’t my fault that he was abusive, but it WAS my fault for not remembering to protect myself. I had the skills, but because it was a different kind of abuse, I forgot to implement them before it was too late. I didn’t recognize the manipulation and callousness of my abusive partner, as it wasn’t as physical, or sexual, as I knew as a child. Once I was in the relationship, I couldn’t find a clear path of escape, and ended up tolerating, rather than working through it and fighting back.
